Pity the Super-rich
The road to success is paved with more than just money. Finding enduring things that matter is one way of avoiding wealth fatigue syndrome.
The
rich, as noted by F. Scott Fitzgerald, are different from you and me.
By rich, Fitzgerald was referring to those who have so much money
that they don’t know what to do with it. However, excess success
and affluence can come at a high price, and lead to unremitting
greed, corruption and a sense of entitlement.
In
one of the most famous films of all time, Citizen Kane, we follow the
story of one of these super-rich. Charles Foster Kane, played by
Orson Welles, is a character based in part on the American newspaper
magnate William Randolph Hearst. The film follows a fascinating man’s
rise to fame to his inevitable fall from the “top of the world,”
dying alone muttering only the enigmatic “Rosebud.” The film’s
central device is the search, by a newsreel report, for the meaning
of this word. In the end, we find out that, despite all his wealth,
Kane’s most enduring and precious thought – the piece most
central to his character and identity – was the name of the sled
that he had been riding as a child the day his mother sent him away.
Kane suffers from “affluenza”, or wealth fatigue syndrome. While obsessively pursuing material gain (having a voracious appetite for the acquisition of money, possessions, appearances - both physical and social - and fame), the paradox is that all these acquisitions and conspicuous consumption do not make these people happy. Instead, their relentless quest for material gain only brings psychological disorders, alienation and distress.
Six
cars, three yachts and a jet plane isn’t enough
In
my work as a psychoanalyst, management professor, and executive
coach, I have met many extremely wealthy individuals who suffer from
affluenza. In spite of all their accomplishments and material
possessions, they remain bored and deeply unfulfilled. There are very
few things that make them really feel alive. Given this sense of
void, they may even engage in self-destructive activities.
To
illustrate an interesting case of affluenza, take one of my clients,
who, like Kane, is an extremely successful entrepreneur. For Peter,
life did not have a very auspicious start. His father left the family
when he was only five years old, leaving only his mother to make ends
meet. Fortunately, his grandfather—a jack-of all trades—took an
interest in the little boy encouraging his entrepreneurial drive. And
that’s what he became. Already in his early thirties, Peter was a
self-made man and succeeded in amassing a fortune. He had become
obscenely rich.
Peter
possessed so much wealth that he could spend freely. Without
restraint, he indulged in truly expensive hobbies, acquiring
mansions, cars, a yacht, and even an airplane - new toys with which
he soon lost interest. This excessive spending may be a sign not only
of conspicuous consumption but also of an addiction and a mad attempt
to cover up boredom and depression.
Conspicuous
consumption for many rich men also involves women. After Peter’s
third marriage (and divorce), he decided that marriage wasn’t for
him, having left him with quite a mess, including bitter ex-wives and
a train of unhappy children.
When
money costs too much
In
our individualistic, competitive world, it is unrealistic to say that
money does not matter. It is hard to survive without having money,
and all of us need a minimal amount of it simply to get on with
everyday life. But, if unchecked, money can also turn out to cost too
much. Listening to the stories of Peter, and others like him, I
discovered that whatever they acquire, it never seems to be enough
and in spite of having it all they are never satisfied. Although
these people may define their lives through earnings, possessions,
appearances, and celebrity, excessive wealth can create a bubble of
isolation and loneliness, leaving them more miserable than ever.
There
is another extent to money’s darker side. One of the many
money-driven executives I have coached once said to me, in all
seriousness, “What good is money if it can’t inspire envy and
terror in your fellow man?” Making lots of money isn’t only a
symbol of success; it can also be a deliberate attempt to make others
envious, to show them who is more successful.
As to be expected, such behaviour often serves as a matador’s red
flag, bringing out the worst in those who are being taunted.
For
some, money is an ideal instrument for keeping score. Gaining a spot
on the annual Forbes list of the world’s richest people - the
destination of many a narcissistic journey - is a highly effective,
but not very sophisticated, way of gaining the admiration, and/or
envy, of others. For many of the super-rich, to be left off the
Forbes list can be a personal catastrophe. The battle to gain a place
(or higher place) on it can also be the ultimate challenge.
But
unfortunately, it’s likely even those who make the list, are still
not satisfied. They torture themselves by wondering whether their
ranking is high enough or whether they will maintain their position.
The
misfortune of growing up rich
While
growing up with no money at all can be a problem, having lots of
money can also be detrimental to a child’s healthy development. In
a typical scenario, super-rich parents, busy as they are with the
acquisition and management of their wealth, compensate for their
unavailability by giving their children presents and money as a
substitute for love. Children raised on this model are generally left
with ambivalent feelings toward their caretakers, depressive feelings
and a great sense of insecurity, which can last into adulthood.
Despite
all the riches money can bring, true wealth lies in family and
friends who care about us, and about whom we care. Having intimate,
deep relations is what life is all about. Far too often, the
senseless pursuit of money hardens the human heart.
In
the case of Peter, he would do well to concentrate on the things that
last and to realise that focusing on finite material achievements
only brings a temporary sense of fulfillment. Although Peter may have
viewed the pursuit of money as the road to freedom, obtaining it
turned out to be a bind to slavery. It led him to forfeit the
essential things of life.
Readjusting
your bottom line
The
only cure for affluenza is to start giving back. As many studies have
shown, altruistic acts are good for your emotional well-being, and
can measurably enhance your peace of mind. People who engage in
altruistic activities experience increased personal growth and are
more content and fulfilled. There is a great correlation between
doing good and feeling good. When we give to others, they feel closer
to us, and we also feel closer to them.
Peter
needs to keep in mind that thoughts and imagination are a great
source of wealth, as are meaningful friendships and familial ties,
and the ability to take pleasure in the small things of life. It’s
important to recognise that the people who are spiritually wealthy
are the wealthiest of all.
Manfred
Kets de Vries,
INSEAD Distinguished Professor of Leadership Development &
Organisational Change
Read more at http://knowledge.insead.edu/blog/insead-blog/pity-the-super-rich-3739#vbx1S4hFtBHGB6JK.99
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