7 Things You Need to Start Saying No to Today
Want
to be richer, happier, and healthier? Start saying no to these
things right now, suggests a new book.
Despite being composed of just two little letters, the word "no" is both extremely powerful and extremely hard to master. Sure, you can pronounce it just fine, but actually getting it out of your mouth at the right moments is often one of the hardest skills for newbie entrepreneurs to learn. Nevertheless, it's a skill that's essential for success.
Learning
to say no strategically increases
your productivity, clarifies your priorities, and ensures you have
the time you need to devote to the people and projects that are most
important to you. A good place to start is a simple "not-to-do
list"
that cuts suboptimal practices and common time-sucks out of your day.
But according to hedge fund manager and entrepreneur James Altucher,
you need to go deeper than that, by learning to say no to whole
categories of destructive experiences and people.
That's
the underlying principle of his new book, The
Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and
Happiness,
which he wrote with his wife, Claudia Azula Altucher. So what sort of
harmful aspects of life do you need to learn to refuse? Altucher
recently offered a
sneak preview of his ideas in the form of a Slideshare presentation.
Here are some of the things he feels you should start refusing right
now.
1. Social pressure
"When
we were children," Altucher writes, "we were taught to be
polite, to
be nice,
and to say yes at all the wrong moments. This leads us to be
pressured by colleagues, institutions, bosses, friends, and family to
attend to their needs." You want to be kind (see point 7 below),
but you don't want to be a doormat. To get this balance right,
Altucher advises that you follow a simple A-B-C
procedure: acknowledge
what you're being pressured into, set your boundary,
and then close
(i.e., stick to it).
2. Negative chatter
Many
people are less kind to themselves than they are to others. Stop
indulging in this negative self-chat and turn off the nasty voice in
your head asking, "Do I look ugly in this?" or "Why is
work so miserable?" or even "Geez, that guy looks like a
total idiot."
3. Jealousy
OK,
probably you will never totally conquer
jealousy,
but you can say no to jealousy's making you miserable. Instead of
letting feelings of envy impact your life, take a moment to examine
what those feelings say about your goals and worries. "Jealousy
is a guide to what's going on inside you," Altucher writes.
"It's never about the other person." Use your jealousy to
clarify what you want and what you're afraid of and say no to being
ashamed of it or whatever it is you think you lack.
4. Thought attacks
Altucher
confesses to being one of those people who often wake up with worry
at 3 a.m. Just say no to these sudden "thought attacks," he
advises. This type of panic accomplishes
exactly nothing. "Looking back, nothing that I predicted at 3 in
the morning ever happened," he says.
5. Bad luck
Bad
luck isn't something you're cursed with. It is something you do--a
way of approaching life and shutting down (or entirely missing)
opportunities. Therefore, you can simply refuse to wallow in bad luck
(and even train
yourself to be luckier).
6. Draining people
It's
simple, Altucher insists: People either support you or drag you down.
For each person in your life, identify which camp he or she belongs
to and, for those you place on the wrong side of this fundamental
divide, it's time to start saying no to invitations from them.
7. Selfishness
Think
being "me first" is essential to success? Not at all. The
genuinely accomplished are almost always motivated by a desire to be
of service.
So stop thinking ruthlessness underpins success and start saying no
to selfishness. Try this trick, Altucher suggests: Though it might
sound morbid, make it your intention in everyday interactions "to
treat people as if it were their last day," and see what
happens.
JESSICA STILLMAN
LRead
more: http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/7-things-you-need-to-start-saying-no-to-today.html#ixzz3D1rXD3Ft
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