7
Things You Need to Be More Magnetic
Want
to be more engaging in conversation? Cultivate your charm by adopting these
seven habits.
Think
of the most engaging people you know. My guess is they're charming,
interesting, and make you feel special.
We
all want to be perceived that way, don't we? Here are several character traits
you should work on if you want to be magnetic and likeable.
Curiosity
By
nature children are curious, but we lose much of our inquisitiveness as we age.
Yet
it's such a vital trait, especially in business. Curiosity drives you to
continuously learn about your industry, understand your customers, and create
innovative products.
It's
also essential for building quality relationships. After all, people are drawn
to those who genuinely want to hear their stories. When was the last time
someone took an interest in your dreams and desires? How did it make you feel?
Mindfulness
This
means being present in the here and now, giving people in your presence 100
percent of your attention.
Technology
is a thief in this regard. In fact, if you want to repel someone during a
conversation make sure to do lots of tapping on your phone. The people who I
most want to spend time with never do this. (And if you have phone-wielding
kids, teach them mobile manners early--there are far too many people in the
world who are clueless as to how rude this head-down behavior is.)
Optimism
Nobody
likes a whiner. Not only are optimists better company, they are more successful than equally
talented pessimists.
Insurance
and financial services company Metropolitan Life created a test to determine
the optimism levels of new salespeople. Over time it found that optimists
outsold the pessimists by 20 percent in the first year, with the difference
spiking to 50 percent during the second year.
If
optimism isn't your strong suit, check out 3 simple steps to banish negativity, which
discusses how you can reframe your thoughts, comments, and criticism.
Kindness
Remember
the scene in the 2000 movie "Bounce" when Gwyneth Paltrow's character
jumps up to step on toilet paper trailing behind the shoe of a teenager on a
prom date? The small action--which only took a second or two--communicated her
kindness, something that Ben Affleck's character found attractive.
In
some ways, kindness is a virtue people acquire as children as they see it
modeled by others. In other ways, it's a habit.
An
easy way to sprinkle kindness into your life is to find at least one person a
day on whom to bestow an honest compliment, whether it's a coworker, a
stranger, or a family member.
Want
more ideas for ways you can be more kind? The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation lists scads of
them.
Open-Mindedness
Researchers
have found people who describe themselves as lucky tend to notice things more than self-described unlucky people. They're
open-minded and willing to act on unexpected opportunities. Unlucky people tend
to be tense and so focused on narrow goals that they miss chances to do new
things.
Enthusiasm
Not
that you want to run around the office high-fiving people all the time, but
genuine enthusiasm is a valuable asset when it comes to motivating others.
If
you're in a rut and lacking enthusiasm for your work, you need to switch things up. Are there processes in your day you
can eliminate? Can you delegate work to employees, freeing up your time to work
on things you're passionate about? Can you cut loose an unproductive employee,
unprofitable product line, or low-margin customer?
Whatever
you need to do to get psyched up, do it.
Authenticity
Show
me someone who pretends to have it all together and you'll find me walking the
other direction. While authenticity is hard to define, you probably know its
opposite when you see it.
My
favorite people are direct and not afraid to share things about themselves that might even
make them look bad. In doing so they convey a sense of humility, honesty, and
vulnerability that work to lower people's defenses. If you can do that, you're
well on your way to engaging with them.
BY Christina
DesMarais http://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/7-things-you-need-to-be-more-magnetic-and-likeable.html?cid=em01020week39c&nav=su
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