ANGER MANAGEMENT LESSON 1
Why
so angry?
Speak when
you’re angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Do these
words by American journalist-satirist Ambrose Bierce resonate with you, too?
When you are angry, it is tough to judge between right and wrong. And at
emotionally-fraught workplaces, it’s easy to lose your lash out at co-workers.
However, it never leads to anything positive. Either your relationship with
that person sours forever or there’s a permanent stagnancy between the two of
you.
Some situations call for a good loud scream. But that’s hardly practical. Let the experts tell you how you to react with civility and professionalism, when all you want to do is roar the place down.
Some situations call for a good loud scream. But that’s hardly practical. Let the experts tell you how you to react with civility and professionalism, when all you want to do is roar the place down.
LESSON 1
Situation#1: when a co-worker
refuses to cooperate
This happens often. You want your colleague to perhaps read the draft you’ve prepared, or maybe you want them to fill in for you because you filled in for them last time they asked. But you’re shocked when your colleague refuses outright.
The immediate reaction: Unless you’re the epitome of patience, you’ll be irritated. “The typical human psyche will first turn to irritability and, for those who are slightly volatile, anger,” says Rachna Singh, lifestyle expert and psychologist with Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon. You could also feel helpless at time.
How you should react: It would be wise, perhaps, to let it
go the first time it happens. Everybody has bad days, and there’s no way to
predict which way their mood will swing. “The people concerned should work
harder on role allocation and communicating clearly what’s required of a
situation,” says Tarun Chandna, founder and manager of Exper, a behavioural
training organisation. This happens often. You want your colleague to perhaps read the draft you’ve prepared, or maybe you want them to fill in for you because you filled in for them last time they asked. But you’re shocked when your colleague refuses outright.
The immediate reaction: Unless you’re the epitome of patience, you’ll be irritated. “The typical human psyche will first turn to irritability and, for those who are slightly volatile, anger,” says Rachna Singh, lifestyle expert and psychologist with Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon. You could also feel helpless at time.
So how does one control one’s blood rushing up to the brain? “Take a few deep breaths. I know it’s difficult and might not work at first, but you need to train yourself to do this,” says Singh. “Even having a glass of water helps.
Damage control: “At times, if a person is going through a tough time personally or professionally and you are aware of it, it is best to handle the situation with empathy,” says Payal Mukherjee, seniorconsultant with Spearhead InterSearch, an executive search firm.
What you definitely shouldn’t do: “Don’t make matters worse by immediately going to your superior or HR,” says Chandna. Singh adds: “If you are screaming, don’t do it in a place where there are people around. It becomes hurtful when done in front of others."
Cubicle cool tip
“Understand that each person is a product of his or her environment. They’re not robots who’ll always behave the way you want them to,” says life coach Ramon Llamba.
(Courtesy: Satya D Sinha, CEO, MANCER Consulting (that provides talent management solutions)
Shreya Sethuraman, HTBR 1307079
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