Success Isn’t Happiness,
But They’re The Same Skill
And you already know it isn’t “overthinking”
The happiest people and the most successful people
aren’t always the same people — in fact,
tons of people will argue up and down that they’re not, and frankly I’m not
here to tell you otherwise.
But I
will tell you that they come from the same thing. And to save you from
scrolling the entire post to find it, I’ll just tell you. It’s:
Making externalized, expansive decisions from finite
information.
And I
know you’re probably thinking, “what the hell does that mean?”
And
the short answer is: nothing, really.
Not on
its own. Not in a standalone way like it’s sitting there. But you and I both
know you wanted and needed it summarized like that, and you were gonna scroll
the post looking for it, so there it is. If you want it broken down, read on.
What
it means is:
·
The opposite of over-analysis and judgment
·
The opposite of wanting to pursue everything
·
The opposite of abstraction
·
The opposite of convention, or structure, or rules
·
The opposite of inaction
And
you already know all of these — I know
you do — so, you see, that first
statement wasn’t that weird.
It was
just stated in a new way, in a way that was different than: “set goals,” “build
relationships,” “do what’s authentic,” or “do what’s logical” or “just do it.”
(Side note: although that list might seem random, it wasn’t. The first four of
the five are the only ways we make decisions — two of
them internalized and deductive (what’s authentic and what’s logical) and the
other two are externalized and expansive (goals and relationships.) These
four are where the “happiness” and “success” party’s at. And the fifth, “just
do it,” is just the ever-present partier here to get it started.)
Stop Reading Bullshit
Stop
overthinking. Stop procrastinating. Stop thinking the answer is in all this
garbage. And stop re-reading more garbage thinking the next garbage post is
somehow going to hold the answer. It’s not.
If you
feel like you’re fucking up in life, the answer is already in you. You just
have to find it.
But I
can help you narrow it down, because everything worthwhile is decided from only
four standpoints:
·
What you want, what’s authentic, what reflects your
values or feelings
·
What’s logical and accurate
·
What makes the greatest external impact on systems
·
What makes the greatest external impact on people
That’s
the whole list. That’s how decisions are made. Nothing ever happens in
“analysis” or “research” or “brainstorming” or “searching” or “thinking” except
a never-ending game of “information-gathering” that goes on in perpetuity,
because the “answer,” without one of the above decision-making functions, will
literally out-run itself and never be found. By nature.
As you
run more, you just push it farther ahead of you.
You
have to actually decide. The solution is in choosing, not chasing. It’s in
action, not insight, information, or ideas.
How?
Look,
bud — I’m not you. I have no
idea. But, like, shit — I narrowed it down to four
avenues for you. Try re-reading the list and doing some legwork here, huh? One
of those sings to you. Probably two of them do.
But
here’s a hint:
One of
them is probably jumping from the page and shouting at you like “pick me! I am
the obvious winner here! I need to be chosen! I am the right
one!”
That
one is not the right one. I’ll tell you that right now. That one is the one you
are hiding behind.
The
right one for you is the one you skipped over because it seemed so obvious.
It’s the one that’s quiet in the corner; the one you made eye contact with; the
one you saw without seeing; the one you’ll come back to time and time again.
That’s
the one.
Now
start experimenting with it.
If
you’re truly still not sure (and first of all, damn son, are you even
trying?) — then shit, try
all four! Lean into each one. Develop it. See how it feels. One of
them will seem obvious — all of your true greatest
joys will be there, and when you look back on the best times of your life, it
will be that one above the others (and if you’re thinking “it was more than
one!” then, like, congrats, bud. But let’s try to get it down to one or two.)
And
really, if we’re honest, it was primarily one. The others will just be
secondary, or seem “important,” or feel outright “unsustainable,”
“unimportant,” or “uncomfortable.” And then you’ll know for sure.
“Once you accept yourself… you become a much braver
person. Failure is an integral part of our lives because once you have
experienced it; you will be open to other opportunities, a wider perspective in
life. Ultimately, happiness is all up to our efforts as well: how we view the
things happening around us, and how we react to them.”
Make
decisions and you’ll get whatever you want — happiness,
success, and anything in between.
Kris Gage
https://medium.com/@krisgage/success-isnt-happiness-but-they-re-the-same-skill-95485852e03b
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