11
Things People Know About You Before You Even Open Your Mouth
Your first words come long after you've already made your
first impression.
You walk into an expensive restaurant and
approach the hostess station to confirm your reservation. The hostess is
texting and has her back to the customers waiting to be seated.
Her blouse is wrinkled, she has chipped nail
polish, and she's chewing gum. Part of a questionable tattoo shows around the
collar of her blouse.
The phone rings; she picks up the receiver
and slams it down without answering it or stopping her texting.
When a customer standing at the desk tries to
get her attention, she turns her back completely on the customer.
If you've never been to this restaurant before,
what's your expectation of the service likely to be? Even if the food and later
service turn out to be stellar, you will always have a negative first
impression, created before one word was said.
Psychologists at Princeton University conducted
a study of university students who were shown images of people for 100
milliseconds, and were asked to judge people on attractiveness, likability,
trustworthiness, competence, and aggressiveness. The students made
judgment calls in less than a second. Even when given more time, the initial
impression remained the same.
So your grandmother was right: First
impressions count. These things could be sabotaging you before you say a word:
1. Wrinkles
We're not talking facial features, but
wrinkles in your clothing. If you show up to a business meeting in a shirt that
is crumpled and wrinkled, you convey the impression that the person you are
meeting with isn't important. You could also be judged as lazy or ambivalent.
If you have never learned how to properly iron a shirt, it's time to learn.
It's a life hack everyone needs to know. And while you're at it, invest in
a lint brush.
2. Gum
People chew gum for a variety of reasons. Maybe
it's a stress technique. Maybe it's a smoking cessation thing. Maybe it's an
antidote to the garlicky caesar salad at lunch. There is nothing wrong with
gum, unless you're smacking it and blowing bubbles as you walk into a business
meeting. Chewing gum conveys an impression of immaturity. Ditch the wad before
the meeting ... in the garbage can, please.
3. Too much makeup
Heavy makeup, or makeup more suited to a night
out at a club, sets off alarm bells with some people who ponder what the person
is hiding with all the paint.
4. Scuffed shoes
Shoes are an overlooked detail that can convey
a negative impression. Shoes polished to a high shine convey attention to
detail. Scuffed shoes, heels that are worn down, or frayed laces convey that
good enough is good enough. It seldom is. (And if your belt is ragged, buy a
new one.)
5. Poor posture
Your mother was right. You need to stand up
straight. Head up, shoulders back and relaxed, and you look confident,
competent, and positive. The added bonus, your clothes will hang better and
look more polished. Enter a room with slumped shoulders and head bent, and the only
positive impression you'll generate is to your chiropractor's bank balance.
6. Cleavage
So many stereotypes, so few places to look ...
Eye-popping cleavage is all kinds of wrong. First of all, it can convey an
impression of questionable morals or lower intelligence. Yes, it is 2015
and we should be past that, but we're not. Also, some people (men and women
equally) have a hard time avoiding the distracting sightline. Button it up, and
cover up.
7. Scents: body, cologne, and other
Many people have sensitivity to fragrance and
scent, which can trigger everything from migraines to nausea. Also, imposing
your fragrance on the general population is inconsiderate. Conversely, if the scent
you are exuding is body odor with a side of sweat, people are going to wonder
if you're up to the job. Make sure you are washed and pressed, but leave the
heavy perfumes and aftershave for the nightclub.
And if your clothes smell like kitty litter, cigarettes,
or other, um, smoke, then invest in a good dry cleaning before your meeting.
Smoking is becoming less and less socially acceptable, and other types of odor
are not going to help cultivate a good impression.
8. The eyes have it
Are you making eye contact, paying attention,
and focusing on the person in front of you as he or she walks toward you,
or are you texting, looking around the restaurant, checking the score on the
big-screen television, or checking out the beautiful people? Lack of eye contact
telegraphs lack of interest, insecurity, and even arrogance.
9. Earbuds
Dude, put the tunes away. If you want to listen
to tunes on the way to the meeting, more power to you, but they need to be put
away before you walk in. They convey indifference, immaturity, and lack of
focus.
10. Overgrooming
This seems counterintuitive given the other
items on this list, but overgrooming can convey arrogance and lack of
attention. Are you constantly checking yourself out in the mirror while you're
waiting? Are you more focused on yourself than on the people around you?
Where's your focus going to be on my project?’’
11. Handshakes speak volumes
So you're about to say your first words. You're
standing straight, you've got eye contact, you're smiling, and then you
offer a handshake that's like a cold fish or, worse, an invitation to arm
wrestle.
One of the biggest pet peeves in an informal
social media poll was a limp handshake. Grasp the other person's hand firmly,
but not so hard you're breaking bones. The double hand clasp is overkill and
can be off-putting. A semi-bone crushing handshake is all about exerting
control and isn't a good start to a meeting. According to a study
commissioned by Chevrolet Europe, the optimal handshake length is two to three
seconds.
There are a number of other things: Be on time,
put your phone away, chew with your mouth closed, don't interrupt, listen
actively ... you know, all those things your mother told you when you were
a kid. It can be tough to overcome a negative first impression, so pay
attention, smile, and get out there with your best face forward.
BY LARRY KIM
http://www.inc.com/larry-kim/11-things-people-know-about-you-before-you-even-open-your-mouth.html?cid=em01014week47a
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