Why
Providing Critical Feedback Can Be A Gift
Rarely
are managers, in any field, well prepared to deal with employees who need
corrective input. In fact, we’ve heard all too often how the whole idea of
being critical strikes a note of "being mean," "acting
arrogant," or "hurting someone’s feelings."
And
yes, being critical can be all of those things when misunderstood or delivered
without support, care, and kindness.
But
when you understand that life well lived is a journey of growth and expansion,
then there have to be teachers along the way to provide helpful input. When
left to only our own devices, our own perspectives, our own experiences, we can
only replicate what we already know. And that’s what causes people to be stuck
in a rut, unable to take their work life forward in a manner that is
continually challenging and transformative.
So,
if you are a manager, a supervisor, in any way someone who has the
responsibility and opportunity to help other employees improve, please see your
role as a gift.
Magic
Words
When
you can touch another person’s potential—beyond what they currently understand
about themselves— you have the opportunity to provide the gift of a larger
vision of who they are, of how they can conduct their work life, even perhaps a
larger sense of their true identity.
While
that may be beyond the scope of your work as a manager, it is not outside the
scope of touching someone’s life and career.
Sometimes
people have to have their hearts broken open in order to receive new value about
who they are, what they are truly capable of, and how they are viewed by
others. And while this can be painful, even very painful on occasion, it is an
essential element for professional and personal growth.
That’s
why your words of critical feedback and reality messages about the need to
improve can be Magic Words, providing the inspiration for your recipient to
look beyond what they already know and embrace and actualize what you are
suggesting is needed for their improvement.
Steer
In Another Direction
You
may have someone on your team or in your company who needs a frank and honest
wake-up call, explaining how they are not a good fit for the company. When you
lay out the specifics with care and respect, hopefully the individual can
understand that they would be better off if they moved on rather than feel
frustrated and continue to receive less than sterling performance ratings.
Sometimes
you can steer the individual in a new direction within the company, but be
prepared for this to be met with hurt feelings, skepticism, or flat out
refusal. In either case, remember that your honest attempt to help has still
been a wake-up call about reality. And that, in the long run, will be a gift
whether or not the recipient can accept it as such.
Support,
Support, Support
Even
if you have to use fairly extreme criticism, putting someone on probation or on
a PIP (performance improvement program), as long as you do so from a position
of support for that individual’s well being, you are still providing the gift
of reality.
Too
often, people who end up in trouble on the job do so because they are caught up
in unrealistic ideas about their talent and ability, their role in the company,
or on the other hand fears of putting forth their true expertise. Either way,
when you can present them with reality, providing examples of their behavioral
problems and limitations, you provide a mirror of reality.
The
primary gift of critical feedback, when delivered with respect, including
specific examples the recipient can relate to, and ideas for concrete
improvement is the advancement of the recipient’s grounding in reality. Yes,
there’s that "reality" word again. Because the delivery of critical
feedback needs to always provide support for the individual being more fully
grounded in reality. That is the most solid basis for their choices going
forward.
What
is your experience with receiving and/or providing critical feedback?
(Photo:
Feedback Marketing Directo e Interactivo Criterion/Flickr)
Judith
Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD http://JudithandJim.com have developed a
penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The
Fear of Being Fabuloustm. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to
always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing—they
are always succeeding. The question is, at what? To learn about how this played
out in the life of Whitney Houston, check out their 6th book: http://WhatReally
KilledWhitneyHouston.com
Contributors to the Huffington Post
and currently working as consultants on retainer to LinkedIn providing
executive coaching, leadership training and consulting as well as working with
private clients around the world, they continually prove that when unconscious
beliefs are brought to the surface, the barriers to greater success and
leadership presence begin to fade away. They call it Overcoming the Fear of
Being Fabulous
http://OvercomingtheFearofBeingFabulous.com
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