7
Things Really Persuasive People Do
Sometimes
you absolutely have to make your point. Here are 7 tips on how to do it
effectively with style and grace.
While
many people don't like to sell, most find themselves having to persuade someone
at some point. Persuasion is not just for salespeople and their prospects. You
may try to persuade an employee to perform better, or perhaps you want to
persuade your boss to take on your brilliant idea. Often the
most effective persuaders are your kids. Somehow they come by it naturally
while you, the adult, has to work hard to find the persuasive path to success.
Whatever
your persuasive need, here are 7 things that the most persuasive people
consistently do:
1. They Are Purposeful
Truly
persuasive people understand their power and use it sparingly and
knowingly. They understand that most conversations do not require trying
to get someone to do or accept something. Aggressive pushers are a turn-off and
will put most people on the defensive. It's the person who rarely asks or
argues that ultimately gets consideration when they strongly advocate an idea,
especially when they do it with power and persistence. Simply put, they
pick their battles. Want to persuade more? Argue and advocate less often.
2. They Listen ... and
Listen ... Then Listen Some More
People
who know how to persuade also know that just pushing your own argument will get
you nowhere. They certainly are able to articulate their position in a convincing
way, but that is only half the equation. They are actively listening when in
persuasion mode. First, they are listening to assess how receptive you are to
their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections,
which they know they'll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments
of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly
listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are
saying. You can't persuade effectively if you don't know the other side of the
argument.
3. They Create a
Connection
It's
easy to dismiss people who are trying to persuade you if you have no emotional
stake in them or their argument. Really persuasive people know this, so they
will be likeable and look for common ground
to help establish emotional bonds and shared objectives. They show empathy for your position and make
it known that they are on your side. They manage their impatience and wait for
you to give them permission to advocate their approach. You'll persuade people
much more easily if they are open and aligned with your desires.
4. They Acknowledge
Credibility
Really
persuasive people understand that there is no sense wasting time arguing facts.
Most of the world does not function in black and white. They value strong
opinions and will make sure that you are entitled to yours. In fact, they will
make sure they give you full credit for every argument of yours that has some
validity. This makes it harder for you to fully dismiss their point of view.
When you are persuading people, reinforce their credibility on facts and
opinions rather than dismissing them outright. Then they'll be more likely
to pay you equal respect in the exchange and be more open to the
merits of your opposing view.
5. They Offer Satisfaction
Smart persuaders know that they don't have to win every
little battle to win the war. They are more than willing to sacrifice when it
helps the overall cause. They are ready to find the easiest path to yes. Often
that is simply to give you what you want whenever possible. In my old lending
days, we would often deal with busy underwriters who asked for items we knew
they already had. Instead of arguing the point, we would just resend the
documents and save our energy for issues that were not so easily resolved. Give
ground where you can and hold your ground only where it matters. Choose being
successful
over being right.
6. They Know When to Shut
Up
Successful
persuaders get that you don't win the battle by constantly berating people with
an unending verbal barrage. Wearing people down is not an effective strategy.
They carefully support their arguments and check in with questions that will
help to close the conversation. Then they step back. The great sales trainer Tom Hopkins still today teaches these
decades-old techniques of his mentor J. Douglas Edwards. His most important
lesson is "Whenever you ask a closing question, shut up. The first
person who speaks, loses."
7. They Know When to Back
Away
Urgency
and immediacy are often the enemies of real persuasion. It's possible to close
a less significant sale through urgency, but deep ideas require
time and thought to
take root. Great persuaders bring you along in your own time. And they give you
the space and time to carefully consider their position. They know that nothing
is more powerful than your persuading yourself on their behalf. That almost
never occurs in the presence of the persuader. The next time you want to
persuade someone of something truly important, follow the tips above, make your
case, and walk away. If they don't come around, you were probably wasting your
effort in the first place.
by Kevin Daumhttp://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/7-things-really-persuasive-people-do.html?cid=sf01002&goback=.gde_55672_member_263070288
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