Why men hate women
A
man’s need to keep alive the myth of his superiority and a woman’s subjugation,
leads to bias against women in all spheres of life
DO men
really hate women? It would seem they do; why else would there be so many cases
of aggression against women — rape, acid-throwing, wife-beating, burning for
dowry? Short of such crimes, men also get a kick out of scaring a woman. A
shaken friend recounts an incident in the car park, when four men in a car
drove right up to her, leering and laughing, as she struggled to open her car
door with trembling hands. Then, they just drove away, laughing out loud, egos
stoked well.
Why would a group of men take pleasure in scaring a woman or torturing her, subjugating her in the worst possible manner? The woman-hating tormentor that came to the fore in the Nirbhaya tragedy can neither be wished away, nor ignored. He now looms large in the mind’s eye — on the streets, driving buses and autos, selling vegetables, or even in the guise of an executive, a teacher, a cop, a CEO or a politician. And he is a scary phenomenon.
Psychoanalysts opine that deep down, men are convinced of a woman’s inferiority, and are traumatised when she seems to hold power over them through her sexuality. The act of sex brings out the worst in men because men fear the sexual power a woman holds over them. A man’s desire and need for a woman, brings with it his dependence on her, and he fears she may reduce the male sense of power and control, which he wields in almost every sphere of life — politics, society, home, office. And so, he sees her as the enemy who must be beaten down, subjugated in order to establish his own sway.
In trying to deal with his distress, it is easy for the man to blame a woman for the bestiality she arouses in him. Hence, you witness policemen, judges, politicians and most other men blaming the victims for rape, acid attacks, harassment or stalking, rather than the male aggressor.
The act of sex itself has the male as aggressor and woman as recipient; it allows the man to keep alive the myth of his superiority and the woman’s subjugation. This is the man’s moment of glory, of power after a day of hits, and as a counsellor admits, a lot of men like to use dirty language and in some cases, even abuses during the act.
Male slang for sex acts and for a woman’s body are all indicative of the need to batter down the woman and establish male power over her. Men bond over boasting about female “conquests” and are appreciatively termed “studs” or “rakes”, while women are embarrassed
about their sexuality for fear of being branded “sluts”, “whores” or “easy lays”. See how language has been devised to humiliate women and empower men? I read somewhere that the English language has 220 words, mostly derogatory, for a promiscuous female and only 22 appreciative ones for the male equivalent. Another nugget — while terms like “Master” and “Lord” still retain a respected status, female equivalents such as “Mistress,” “Madam” or “Dame” have acquired derogatory meanings. And guess who has controlled communication historically?
But, why just men? In the woman-hating saga, even women seem to have a gender bias against their own sex. This is sometimes so subtle that you may not even be aware of being prejudiced till the same is pointed out. And this implicit gender bias affects the lives of women all over the world — their standing in society, education, their careers and paychecks— and yes, their very security and existence.
Fresh research from Yale recently proved that scientists ranked candidates lower for competence, hiring or for mentoring, when they thought the applicants were women, and higher when they were given male names. And disturbingly, the biased scientists included men as well as women.
Religion too has played its part in keeping the hatred for women alive with underlying woman-hating motifs, when women who had traditionally been associated with wisdom and fertility, were portrayed as sinners and sexual beings.
Media has played and continues to play a critical role in perpetuating sexist myths. Contemporary Western media is no better, with prominent women like Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin having to deal with their share of sexist name-calling, which is reserved by media only for women politicians. Women are objectified and the frequency of sexist advertisements is dismaying. Movies and television continue to mindlessly portray established conventional stereotypes, further confusing people. Repeated exposure to these stereotypes shapes people’s behaviour.
And so, we need to pay attention to these subtler, everyday prejudices, the little things that lead to the bigger hateful picture. Not all sexism and bias against women is in-the-face. It can be a subconscious discrimination, which many of us may not even be aware of. And till we accept the problem, we cannot work to fix it.
Why would a group of men take pleasure in scaring a woman or torturing her, subjugating her in the worst possible manner? The woman-hating tormentor that came to the fore in the Nirbhaya tragedy can neither be wished away, nor ignored. He now looms large in the mind’s eye — on the streets, driving buses and autos, selling vegetables, or even in the guise of an executive, a teacher, a cop, a CEO or a politician. And he is a scary phenomenon.
Psychoanalysts opine that deep down, men are convinced of a woman’s inferiority, and are traumatised when she seems to hold power over them through her sexuality. The act of sex brings out the worst in men because men fear the sexual power a woman holds over them. A man’s desire and need for a woman, brings with it his dependence on her, and he fears she may reduce the male sense of power and control, which he wields in almost every sphere of life — politics, society, home, office. And so, he sees her as the enemy who must be beaten down, subjugated in order to establish his own sway.
In trying to deal with his distress, it is easy for the man to blame a woman for the bestiality she arouses in him. Hence, you witness policemen, judges, politicians and most other men blaming the victims for rape, acid attacks, harassment or stalking, rather than the male aggressor.
The act of sex itself has the male as aggressor and woman as recipient; it allows the man to keep alive the myth of his superiority and the woman’s subjugation. This is the man’s moment of glory, of power after a day of hits, and as a counsellor admits, a lot of men like to use dirty language and in some cases, even abuses during the act.
Male slang for sex acts and for a woman’s body are all indicative of the need to batter down the woman and establish male power over her. Men bond over boasting about female “conquests” and are appreciatively termed “studs” or “rakes”, while women are embarrassed
about their sexuality for fear of being branded “sluts”, “whores” or “easy lays”. See how language has been devised to humiliate women and empower men? I read somewhere that the English language has 220 words, mostly derogatory, for a promiscuous female and only 22 appreciative ones for the male equivalent. Another nugget — while terms like “Master” and “Lord” still retain a respected status, female equivalents such as “Mistress,” “Madam” or “Dame” have acquired derogatory meanings. And guess who has controlled communication historically?
But, why just men? In the woman-hating saga, even women seem to have a gender bias against their own sex. This is sometimes so subtle that you may not even be aware of being prejudiced till the same is pointed out. And this implicit gender bias affects the lives of women all over the world — their standing in society, education, their careers and paychecks— and yes, their very security and existence.
Fresh research from Yale recently proved that scientists ranked candidates lower for competence, hiring or for mentoring, when they thought the applicants were women, and higher when they were given male names. And disturbingly, the biased scientists included men as well as women.
Religion too has played its part in keeping the hatred for women alive with underlying woman-hating motifs, when women who had traditionally been associated with wisdom and fertility, were portrayed as sinners and sexual beings.
Media has played and continues to play a critical role in perpetuating sexist myths. Contemporary Western media is no better, with prominent women like Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin having to deal with their share of sexist name-calling, which is reserved by media only for women politicians. Women are objectified and the frequency of sexist advertisements is dismaying. Movies and television continue to mindlessly portray established conventional stereotypes, further confusing people. Repeated exposure to these stereotypes shapes people’s behaviour.
And so, we need to pay attention to these subtler, everyday prejudices, the little things that lead to the bigger hateful picture. Not all sexism and bias against women is in-the-face. It can be a subconscious discrimination, which many of us may not even be aware of. And till we accept the problem, we cannot work to fix it.
Vinita Dawra Nangia TL130203
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