Here's Wishing You A Happy Marriage
The
world, Shakespeare said, is a stage on which we are all in a play. But the play
that we enact on the world’s stage is a divine play which is meant to raise our
consciousness level through mutual interaction. No worthwhile relationship can
survive without mutual understanding and loving partnership – more so in a
marriage.
However, like all other institutions that we have so intelligently designed for self-growth, the institution of marriage, too, has suffered a great deal over the years, made worse with the culture of materialism. In a money-centric society there is substantial erosion of values that form the very basis of fulfilling relationships. Marriage is no exception. Yet all is not lost; a clear understanding of a few basic principles underlying the institution of marriage is sufficient to ensure its success. The points raised here might help couples like Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor – who have recently entered into matrimony – to start off on the right note to ensure a lasting and loving relationship.
First, marriage needs to be seen not just as a union that enables a legalised sexual relationship between two individuals; it is a coming together of two souls who, together, can tread the path that could lead towards a higher goal like that of God-realisation.
Any marital relationship must start with love and respect for one another, acknowledging each one’s individuality. Both head and heart play important roles in strengthening an intimate relationship and marriage is an opportunity to learn from close quarters the art of taking from each other’s good qualities and giving room for balanced growth through synergy.
The other important ingredient in a happy marriage is the presence of the spirit of sacrifice, the absence of which tends to lead to break-ups. Never take each other for granted and never forget to feel gratitude for the good qualities in a partner.
Most couples in a marriage tend to fall into a pattern of complaint and comparison, both with disastrous results. Yes, one’s parents are dear to one but this fact need not be brought up in moments of conflict as points of comparison or as bragging. Keep the ego under control and learn to be more loving and giving.
Constant bickering in the marital home leads children to experience a sense of insecurity and helplessness. Instead of harping on the greatness of their own kith and kin and finding fault with each other, partners ought to develop
a compassionate attitude towards each other. Once love is reinforced, it is but a short step towards helping each other overcome their respective shortcomings. It is only when you allow for deep understanding to grow that you can truly experience the benefits of family life where the couple complement rather than annoy each other.
All married couples would necessarily have to effect some kind of changes in their outlook and lifestyle however subtle these may be, for living with another individual entails cultivating an accommodative nature. A seeker, in order to find God, distances himself from the world in order to pay undivided attention to the goal. The two soulmates, by shifting their focus somewhat, from their parental home to their new family unit, would find it easier to devote more time and attention to making the new relationship grow.
A good marriage involves the dissolving of egos, a prelude to the ultimate union with God that necessitates dissolution of ego.
However, like all other institutions that we have so intelligently designed for self-growth, the institution of marriage, too, has suffered a great deal over the years, made worse with the culture of materialism. In a money-centric society there is substantial erosion of values that form the very basis of fulfilling relationships. Marriage is no exception. Yet all is not lost; a clear understanding of a few basic principles underlying the institution of marriage is sufficient to ensure its success. The points raised here might help couples like Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor – who have recently entered into matrimony – to start off on the right note to ensure a lasting and loving relationship.
First, marriage needs to be seen not just as a union that enables a legalised sexual relationship between two individuals; it is a coming together of two souls who, together, can tread the path that could lead towards a higher goal like that of God-realisation.
Any marital relationship must start with love and respect for one another, acknowledging each one’s individuality. Both head and heart play important roles in strengthening an intimate relationship and marriage is an opportunity to learn from close quarters the art of taking from each other’s good qualities and giving room for balanced growth through synergy.
The other important ingredient in a happy marriage is the presence of the spirit of sacrifice, the absence of which tends to lead to break-ups. Never take each other for granted and never forget to feel gratitude for the good qualities in a partner.
Most couples in a marriage tend to fall into a pattern of complaint and comparison, both with disastrous results. Yes, one’s parents are dear to one but this fact need not be brought up in moments of conflict as points of comparison or as bragging. Keep the ego under control and learn to be more loving and giving.
Constant bickering in the marital home leads children to experience a sense of insecurity and helplessness. Instead of harping on the greatness of their own kith and kin and finding fault with each other, partners ought to develop
a compassionate attitude towards each other. Once love is reinforced, it is but a short step towards helping each other overcome their respective shortcomings. It is only when you allow for deep understanding to grow that you can truly experience the benefits of family life where the couple complement rather than annoy each other.
All married couples would necessarily have to effect some kind of changes in their outlook and lifestyle however subtle these may be, for living with another individual entails cultivating an accommodative nature. A seeker, in order to find God, distances himself from the world in order to pay undivided attention to the goal. The two soulmates, by shifting their focus somewhat, from their parental home to their new family unit, would find it easier to devote more time and attention to making the new relationship grow.
A good marriage involves the dissolving of egos, a prelude to the ultimate union with God that necessitates dissolution of ego.
Vijay
M Sethi TOI121026
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