Want Success? Surround Yourself With People Who Challenge Your Thinking
It's
nice to have people around who support you and are of like mind. Agreeable
people boost your confidence and allow a certain level of relaxation. Most of
us develop a stable of people with whom we like to work. We know their styles,
and they know ours. It's comfortable and expedient. It is easy to find a
rhythm, and it works. Unfortunately, that level of comfort can stall the very
learning and innovation that can expand your company and your career.
It's
nice to have people agree, but you need healthy conflict and differing perspectives
to dig out the truth from a group-think and ideation. If everyone in the group
has a similar point of view, your work will suffer from confirmation bias, rarely breaking boundaries and creating
often unnecessary failure.
Take
a look at your own network. Are your contacts the same ones you've had for
years? Are they all in the same industry? Do they share your point of view on
most subjects? It's time to shake things up and get uncomfortable. As a leader,
it can be challenging to create an environment in which people will freely
dissent and argue, but as my good friend and colleague Amilya
Antonetti
says: "From confrontation comes brilliance."
Here
are five tips for engaging people who will expand your perspective and increase
your success.
1. Identify
where you are stale. Actively seeking conflict is not an easy thing for
most people. Many spend their lives trying to avoid arguments and heightened
discourse. There's no need to go out and find people you hate, but you need to
do some self-assessment to determine where you have become stale in your
thinking and approach. You may need to start by encouraging your current
network to help you identify your blind spots. Additionally, make a list of the
five people who have made you most uncomfortable in your life and list the
reasons why. Then use the list to create a picture of the ideal opponent for
your way of thinking.
2.
Go where the battles are. As people get more confident in their
abilities, they often create habits that limit the way they source ideas and
information. Fox News and MSNBC bank on this philosophy. Seek out social
networks and groups that are outside your normal way of thinking. Use
LinkedIn groups to
find diverse perspectives. Pursue the writers of posts that make you react
strongly. Find the people who make you uncomfortable and invite them into your
conversation.
3. Engage
in friendly debate. Passionate, energetic debate does not require anger and
hard feelings to be effective. But it does require strength and assertion. Once
you have worthy opponents, set some ground rules so everyone understands
responsibilities and boundaries. Establish structure to your discourse so
people can feel safe. If people are worried about negative repercussions, they will
hold back
or, worse, disengage completely, and then you'll be back to the same stale
environment. Remember, the objective of this game of debate is not to win but
to get to the truth that will allow you to move faster, farther, and better.
When that happens, everyone wins.
4.
Check in regularly. Fierce debating can get emotionally
brutal, particularly when strong personalities are involved. It doesn't take
insults and name calling to make people feel small and upset. Make sure you
check in with your adversarial colleagues to make sure they are not carrying
the emotion of the battles beyond the battlefield. Break the tension with
smiles and humor to reinforce that this is friendly discourse and that all are
working toward communal success. A good way to reinforce the objectivity is to
actually switch sides in the debate. It's hard to take it personally when you
can argue on behalf of your opponent.
5.
Share rewards and gratitude. The purpose of all this hot and stressful
discourse is to achieve success for everyone. Make sure that all that are
involved in the debate are amply rewarded when the goals are reached. Let your
sparring partners know how much you appreciate them for being fierce and
vulnerable. The more appreciated you
make them feel, the more they'll be willing to get into the ring next time.
BY Kevin Daum
http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/want-success-surround-yourself-with-people-who-challenge-your-thinking.html?cid=em01016week16a
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