Three Surprising Insights about Success and Happiness
The path to a healthy, successful, and meaningful life may not be
what we expect.
Sometimes, findings from the research on
well-being seem a bit obvious: Gratitude will make you happier; mindfulness
reduces your stress; it feels good to be kind.
But the findings of other studies are much
more counterintuitive. This kind of research challenges how we think the world
works; if we’re open to it, it can drastically change our day-to-day lives and
our communities.
At the International Positive Psychology
Association’s 5th World Congress—a
four-day conference held earlier this month with more than 1,300 attendees—I
heard three insights that challenged my assumptions. They offered new ways to
think about the things we want most in life—including health, success, and
happiness.
1.
You don’t have to be charismatic to succeed
What drives high performance at work?
In the past, business researchers focused on
how much influence or information employees managed to amass in their
organization. They visualized complex networks of interconnections, with the
most influential and knowledgeable workers at the center.
But Kim Cameron, a University of Michigan
professor and pioneer in the field of positive organizational psychology, tried
a new kind of mapping: He plotted employees by their “relational energy.”
Relational energy is how much your interactions with others motivate,
invigorate, and energize them (rather than draining or exhausting them,
something we’ve all experienced).
The result? The relational energy network
predicted performance four times better than
networks based on influence or information. In other words, having a positive
and energizing impact on others seems much more important to how much you
achieve at work than getting people to do what you want or hoarding secrets.
And when a leader is more positively energizing, her employees perform better,
are more satisfied and engaged with their jobs, and have higher well-being at
home.
Cameron’s research has found that positive
energizers tend to be trustworthy, grateful, humble, authentic, and forgiving;
they’re also good problem solvers with high standards. Accordingly, relational
energy is not a form of natural charisma or attractiveness.
It’s something that can be cultivated.
2.
We stink at motivating people to be healthy
How do we encourage others to take care of
their health?
If you’re the government, a workplace
wellness program, or a well-meaning spouse, you might try to convince your
target that they are exercising too little and stressing out too much. The
media is particularly fond of framing stories this way.
But according to Stanford University
professor Alia Crum, these messages may have the exact opposite effect
as intended. Her research has found that what we believe—our mindset, in other
words—can actually have physical effects on our bodies.
In a series of nearly-unbelievable studies,
she found that stress creates an unhealthier physical response when
we believe that stress is bad for us; how we think our
exercise levels compare to others’ affects our risk of death beyond
our actual level of activity; the same drink affects our hunger hormones
differently depending on whether we believe it’s
healthy or indulgent; and hotel maids improve their weight and blood pressure after
simply learning that their work involves exercise.
In other words, telling people just how
unhealthy their lifestyles are could help create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So, what’s the alternative? Rather than
focusing on the harm in unhealthy behavior, Crum suggests making healthy
behaviors seem more appealing. In one forthcoming study, she found that
cafeteria-goers ate more vegetables when they were given enticing names:
“twisted citrus-glazed carrots” rather than “carrots with sugar-free citrus
dressing.”
In other words, rather than scaring people
with statistics, we might do better telling them about the joys of a sunset run
by the lake, a fresh salad from the farmer’s market, or a heart-warming
loving-kindness meditation.
3.
Your life may be more meaningful than you think
Are you searching for meaning in your life?
Most of us don’t have to look too far, argued
University of Missouri professor Laura King. In a passionate and
thought-provoking talk, she cited research showing that little things can
increase our sense of meaning: seeing images of trees that
represent the passing of the seasons; being reminded of morning-related words (pancakes, bacon, sunrise)
in the morning; or having more routine in our lives.
On the flipside, King found that our sense of
meaning is pretty resilient to adversity. For example, even the recent U.S.
election wasn’t enough to decrease liberals’ sense of meaning in life (though
it did create other negative feelings).
There is no crisis of meaning in the world,
she argued. Meaning isn’t reserved for special, transcendent moments; it’s part
and parcel of our lives, if only we open our eyes to it.
“People don’t need to know how to make their
lives meaningful. They need to know that they already are,” King said. And when
we believe in the meaningfulness of our lives, we unlock the benefits of more
positive feelings and better relationships.
Her research raised many questions for
attendees: Is this kind of meaning the same as the deep meaning that comes from
having a purpose or caring for others? What about people living in chaotic,
dangerous environments, whose lives really don’t make sense?
Despite these questions, the notion that most
of our lives already have structure, predictability, and meaning is a
provocative one.
BY KIRA M. NEWMAN |
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_surprising_insights_about_success_and_happiness
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