Sunday, October 22, 2017

SUCCESS SPECIAL .....Winning over epic fails

Winning over epic fails

Failure can be your best ally, provided you do it right.
Learn from those who have mastered the art

At 25, Sucheta Pal truly believed she had it all -a promising corporate job, a lively social life and a horizon that sparkled with opportunities. And then, life took an unexpected turn. Years of unhealthy eating and stress finally caught up, and she was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) that severely limited her daily routine. “Regular work meetings became a struggle -my IBS would flare up with stress, which, in turn, made me even more stressed. It felt like I was trapped in a vicious cycle,“ she explains. Soon enough, Pal began to experience crippling bouts of social anxiety that gnawed away at her self-confidence and left her incapable of casual conversations with friends and family. “I started doing the rounds of psychologists and psychiatrists.But it was difficult for those close to me to understand how a vivacious, enterprising girl had disintegrated so much.“
Things came to a head when Pal was assigned to a prestigious overseas role in Hong Kong that she abandoned only two months in. “No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't perform. I was given a lesser role upon my return, and that was a huge blow to my selfesteem. All the while, I knew there was so much potential in me that I could not tap.“ The darkness only deepened until, one evening, Pal swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills. And, even that attempt failed. “I woke up the next morning and realised that life had given me a fighting chance. I called my sister, had her admit me into ahospital, and decided that I would live.“


Following her passion for dance, Pal eventually discovered Zumba, and then, there was no looking back. “Failure gave me muchneeded clarity and perspective. Yes, I had failed my health, my family and my job. But if I wanted things to change, I had to step up. Failing gave me the strength, focus and ability to do that,“ she says. Dr. Jagdish Chaturvedi feels that the most common misconception about failure is that it is negative and should be avoided. “Failure can be our greatest teacher. We only need to understand how to react to it and use it to our advantage,“ explains Chaturvedi, author of The Benefits of Failing Successfully, in which he recounts how the process of learning from his mistakes helped him to transform his life and career. We explore the various steps one can take to ensure every failure becomes a stepping stone for success:


STEP 1 Develop the right mindset

A universal fact about failure is that it leads to frustration and stress. This stress can be eustress or beneficial stress that motivates you to do better, or distress that has negative implications. “To transform your distress into eustress, realise that your attitude towards failure is a response and not a reflex. Failure leads you to a `choice point' from where you can choose how to react,“ says psychiatrist Dr. Nahid Dave.


STEP 2 Objective assessment

Often, people peg the entire blame for their failure on either a person or an external factor.But in reality, no failure can ever be attributed to a single factor. “There are always multiple factors involved and being able to correctly assign responsibility is the most important step you can take towards being rational about your failure. Divide these factors into things you can and cannot change,“ says Dr. Dave, adding “Let go of what you cannot change and incorporate what you can into your next plan.“


Malad-based information analyst, Abhishek Shah shares, “When starting out, we refused an investor. At the time, we were unwilling to compromise on the terms and attributed the failure to a clash of priorities. However, over time, I realised that had we been more open-minded, we would have scaled up much faster. This has since changed my approach towards work,“ says the 26-yearold.


STEP 3 Recognise when to let go

The fear of being perceived as a `loser' or `failure' often drives people to continue doing things that are unhealthy or unproductive. Dr. Dave explains, “This is often the case in relationships that have soured, where those involved try desperately to hold on to a partner who isn't right for them.“ Narendra Goidani, Founder ­ Life School and WOW Parenting recounts an incident that taught him the importance of knowing when to let go. “A few years ago, I had invested a substantial amount of my savings in a project. I trusted the person I had invested with. However, I soon learned that the venture had failed and the reason was that the individual I had worked with was afraid to own up to losses that had been incurred initially. Instead, to hide these losses, he took several bad decisions. I learned then the importance of acknowledging when something isn't working out,“ shares Goidani.


STEP 4 Have realistic expectations


Following one's dreams can be challenging if they're not practical or accommodate your expectations from life. When Pal had to take up dance, she figured out a way to sustain it. “When deciding to forsake my high-paying corporate job to pursue my passion for dance, I knew that the path would not be easy. I was starting quite late, in a field that already had more than its fair share of younger, and fitter dancers. To support myself, I took up meagre-paying jobs such as working with an NGO in Dharavi. I did what I had to keep dancing full-time. Being mentally prepared for what this journey would entail played a major role in helping me cope,“ Pal shares. Dr Dave agrees and adds that since most have no idea of their definition of success, they end up with irrational expectations.“Consequently, they are setting themselves up to fail every day.Unless you know what you are aiming for, you will be in a constant state of unhappiness,“ says Dr. Dave.


STEP 5 Source the right person for every role


Goidani recounts, “When I was about 25 years old, and had a monthly earning of Rs 6,000, I took up a venture to produce plastic bottle caps. I invested roughly 8 lakh on a venture that looked brilliant on paper. When it failed, I realised that not only did I lack the necessary technical competence, so did the person I was working with. I learned then that trusting someone involves so much more than the person's character. In addition to a good character, your partner must also have the necessary competence.“


And the same extends to relationships. “It is possible that you may be good friends with a person and enjoy spending time with them, but they can be completely wrong for you in a long-term relationship.Often, people base their relationship on factors such as common interests or physical attraction. However, unless there is compatibility on other factors such as your attitude towards finances, family members and friends, your relationship is unlikely to succeed,“ says Dave.


STEP 6 Goals can be flexible

Amit Sarda, managing director of Soulflower followed his interest in garments to launch an apparel brand. The company went public while he was only 17. But since his textile partner wasn't able to market the brand and failed to invest, Sarda was left “high and dry“.“This was a thin-margin business and I was losing money every day.Ultimately, I realised that I had become too fixated with building my apparel brand. My true strength was in sales and it didn't matter what I sold. This perspective helped me seize the next opportunity, and Soulflower was born. It is important to objectively understand what you are good at and are interested in, and focus on that,“ says Sarda.


STEP 7 Talk about it

The truth is that failure makes us more relatable and leads people to empathise with us.People accept us more easily when we admit we made a mistake. Being open and honest about failures helps us to avoid the tendency to false-advertise our capabilities. “It helps us to understand that failure is not the opposite of success but that both exist in a continuum,“ says Dr. Chaturvedi. “In fact, the lessons I learned from my entrepreneurial venture of building low-cost biopsy devices inspired me to create a new method of teaching called `medical theatre'. The money I raised from conducting medical theatre workshops helped me fund my enterprise. At the same time, being able to talk about (and poke fun at) my failures spurred my career in stand-up comedy,“ he adds. Rajesh Agarwal, Managing Director of Maventic, who admits to have had his share of failures, and feels that having been open about it has helped him sail through. “Be it global recession, not being able to position a powerful solution or overlooking a compliance issue owing to our ignorance, my team has lost valuable time, effort and financial resources. However, being open and honest through the journey and supporting each other helped us to overcome these failures.Today, I can confidently say that failing together has made us stronger as a unit,“ says Agarwal.

Anindita Paul
Oct 17 2017 : Mirror (Mumbai)


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