9
Things the Most Influential and Persuasive People Do, Backed By Science
Some
people are naturally convincing. The rest of us have to learn to be more
persuasive. Here's how.
Think about all the extremely
successful people you know. I guarantee they're
incredibly good at selling themselves, selling their ideas--in short, they're
incredibly good at persuading other people.
Maybe
that's because selling
is the one skill everyone needs to be successful?
But being persuasive doesn't mean you have to
manipulate or pressure other people.
At its best, persuasion is the ability to
effectively describe the benefits and logic of an idea to gain agreement--and
that means we all need to be more convincing: to persuade others a proposal
makes sense, to show stakeholders how a project or business will generate a
return, to help employees understand the benefits of a new process, etc.
And that's why the art of persuasion is
critical in any business or career--and why successful people are extremely
good at persuading others.
How can you be more persuasive?
1. Start by gaining small "wins."
Research
shows--yep, more research--that gaining
agreement has an enduring effect, even
if only over the short term.
So instead of jumping right to the end of
your argument, start with statements or premises you know your audience will
agree with. Build a foundation for further agreement.
Remember, a body in motion tends to remain in
motion, and that also applies to a head nodding in agreement.
2. Take strong stands.
You
would assume data and reasoning always win the day, right? Nope. Research
shows humans prefer cockiness to expertise. We
naturally assume confidence equates with skill.
Even the most skeptical people tend to be at
least partly persuaded by a confident speaker. In fact, we prefer advice from a
confident source, even to the point that we will forgive a poor track record.
So be
bold. Stop saying, "I think" or "I believe." Stop adding
qualifiers to your speech. If you think something will work, say it
will work. If you believe something will work,say it will work.
Stand behind your opinions--even if they are
just opinions--and let your enthusiasm show. People will naturally gravitate to
your side.
3. Adjust your rate of speech.
There's reason behind the "fast-talking
salesman" stereotype: In certain situations, talking fast works. Other
times, not so much.
Here's
what one
study indicates:
·
If your audience is likely to disagree, speak
faster.
·
If your audience is likely to agree, speak
slower.
Here's why. When your audience is inclined to
disagree with you, speaking faster gives them less time to form their own
counterarguments, giving you a better chance of persuading them.
When your audience is inclined to agree with
you, speaking slowly gives them time to evaluate your arguments and factor in a
few of their own thoughts. The combination of your reasoning plus their initial
bias means they are more likely to, at least in part, persuade themselves.
In short: If you're preaching to the choir,
speak slowly; if not, speak quickly. And if your audience is neutral or
apathetic, speak quickly so you'll be less likely to lose their attention.
4. Don't be afraid to be (appropriately)
"unprofessional."
Take swearing. Cursing for no reason is just
cursing.
But
say your team needs to pull together right freaking now. Tossing in
an occasional--and heartfelt--curse word can actually help instill a sense of
urgency because it shows you care. (And of course it never
hurts when a leader lets a little frustration or anger show, too.)
In
short, be yourself. Authenticity is always more persuasive. If you feel
strongly enough to slip in a mild curse word, feel free. Research shows you're
likely to be a little more persuasive.
5. Know how your audience prefers to process
information.
A fellow supervisor used to frustrate the
crap out of me. (See? That swearing thing works.)
I was young and enthusiastic and would burst
into his office with an awesome idea, lay out all my facts and figures, wait
breathlessly for him to agree with me...and he would disagree.
Every. Freaking. Time.
After
a number of failed attempts, I finally realized he wasn't the
problem. Myapproach was the problem. He needed time to think. He
needed time to process. By demanding an immediate answer, I put him on the
defensive. In the absence of time to reflect, he would fall back on the safe
choice: staying with the status quo.
So I tried a different approach.
"Don," I said, "I have an idea that I think makes sense, but I
feel sure there are things I'm missing. If I run it by you, could you think
about it for a day or two and then tell me what you think?"
He loved that approach. One, it showed I
valued his wisdom and experience. Two, it showed I didn't just want him to
agree--I genuinely wanted his opinion. And most important, it gave him time to
process my idea the way he felt most comfortable.
Always know your audience. Don't push for
instant agreement if someone's personality style makes that unlikely. But don't
ask for thought and reflection if your audience loves to make quick decisions
and move on.
6. Share the good and the bad.
According to University of Illinois professor
Daniel O'Keefe, sharing an opposing viewpoint or two is more persuasive than
sticking solely to your argument.
Why? Very few ideas or proposals are perfect.
Your audience knows that. They know there are other perspectives and potential
outcomes.
So meet them head on. Talk about the things
they're already considering. Discuss potential negatives and show how you will
mitigate or overcome those problems.
The people in your audience are more likely
to be persuaded when they know you understand they could have misgivings. So
talk about the other side of the argument--and then do your best to show why
you're still right.
7. Focus on drawing positive conclusions.
Which of the following statements is more
persuasive?
·
"Stop making so many mistakes," or
·
"Be much more accurate."
Or these two?
·
"Stop feeling so lethargic," or
·
"Feel a lot more energetic."
While
it's tempting to use scare tactics, positive outcome statements tend to be more
persuasive. (The researchers hypothesized that most
people respond negatively to feeling bullied or guilted into changing a
behavior.)
So if you're trying to produce change, focus
on the positives of that change. Take your audience to a better place instead
of telling your audience what to avoid.
8. Choose the right medium.
Say you're a man hoping to convince a man you
don't know well, or even at all. What should you do? If you have a choice,
don't speak in person. Write an email first.
As a general rule, men tend to feel
competitive in person and turn what should be a conversation into a contest we
think we need to win.
The
opposite is true if you're a woman hoping to persuade other women. According to
the researchers, women
are "more focused on relationships," so in-person communication tends to be more
effective.
But if you're a guy trying to convince
another guy you know well, definitely communicate in person. The closer your
relationship, the more effective face-to-face communication tends to be.
9. Most of all, make sure you're right.
Persuasive
people understand how to frame and deliver their messages, but most
importantly, they embrace the fact that the message is what
matters most.
So be clear, be concise, be to the point, and
win the day because your data, reasoning, and conclusions are beyond reproach.
And always use your persuasion skills for
good, not evil. The art of persuasion should be the icing on an undeniably
logical cake.
BY JEFF
HADEN
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/9-ways-to-be-more-influential-and-persuasive-backed-by-science.html?cid=em01016week18a
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