THE MANY, MANY, MANY THINGS YOU SHOULD SAY "NO" TO AT WORK
FORGET
HAVING IT ALL. NEWBRAND ANALYTICS CEO KRISTIN MUHLNER IS HAVING NONE
OF IT. LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS SHE SAYS NO TO, AND GET INSPIRED.
Kristin
Muhlner is
the CEO of NewBrand
Analytics,
which helps companies monitor social
media chatter
about them. She also has mastered the art of saying no, resolutely
refusing to become overextended in all corners of her life. Fast
Companycaught
up with Muhlner to learn how to wiggle out of networking, email, and
even--gasp!--charitable work.
BE RUTHLESS
“Quite
candidly, I’m really ruthless in terms of doing only those things
which are absolutely essential. I’m saying no to a lot, both in
work and life. I see a lot of working moms who think they have to be
110% at work, and then volunteer to run the school auction. We’ve
become so awful at saying no. I try hard to become incredibly
selective about those things I engage with, so I can be really
present for the stuff that I’m doing, and be really engaged with my
kids in a meaningful way. People are trying to accomplish too much,
and they’re killing themselves in the process.”
BUTT OUT
“I
see a lot of peers insert themselves in all sorts of activities where
it’s probably not necessary. That either indicates they don’t
trust their teams to work independently, or they think they’re so
central they have to be involved in everything. I think I’ve failed
if I haven’t empowered my team to accomplish what they need to on
their own. When I was consulting, I learned quickly that everyone is
replaceable. The circle closes quickly when people leave. Once you
start to realize that, it lets you step away from feeling like
you have to
be the center of every decision.”
DON’T NETWORK
“I
always say no to networking activities. They just make me want to
peel my skin off. The last thing in the world I want to do is posture
in front of a bunch of people I don’t know very well, for what is
largely an amorphous or unmeasurable outcome. Here in the
mid-Atlantic, there’s a huge number of events one could attend. You
could literally spend every night going to some tech meetup or CEO
dinner. It’s often the same people, and it feels like they’re
there to promote their own agenda. It feels like you’re getting fed
a line.”
DON’T ANSWER EMAIL
“I
love email. I’m probably a rare breed in that regard. I love it
because it allows me to work asynchronously and to consume vast
amounts of information rapidly across the business. But unless I’m
specifically asked a question, I don’t respond. If a CEO responds,
everyone thinks they need to respond back, and that kicks up a lot of
dust.”
SAVE THE WORLD? NAH
“I
say no to a lot of philanthropic activities. I do think they’re
incredibly important and I appreciate the time people invest in it,
but for me personally, unless it’s a cause I’m deeply committed
to, I generally say no. It takes away from me doing the specific
essential things in my life. I also say no to a lot of women’s
events, women-in-tech events, and women mentorship events. At the end
of the day, I want to help people move ahead generally, but it
doesn’t matter to me whether they’re women or men. Sheryl
Sandberg would no doubt be disappointed in me.”
SAY NO TO BEING INAUTHENTIC
“I
met recently with the chief marketing officer of a respected brand,
and as soon as I sat down, she said, ‘It’s really great to meet
you, but I have to tell you: I’m leaving the company next week.
I’ve been replaced. No one knows except my family and you.’ We
had the most authentic, vulnerable, open conversation. The payoff was
purely emotional. I cultivated a personal relationship I’ll really
enjoy. Whether it’s just that next time I’m on the West Coast
we’ll have a glass of wine, or that she lands at another company
and we work together, it doesn’t matter to me. Her willingness to
be authentic and vulnerable in that moment allowed me to be
authentic.”
DON'T ALWAYS JUMP RIGHT IN
“People
often ask me: ‘Did you work really hard to get to this place?’ My
answer is always: ‘No! Absolutely not!’ I didn’t. I’ve kind
of always been this way. Before I had children, it was about spending
time with friends, cooking, not being slavishly devoted to my job. My
beautiful 80-year-old aunt in Kentucky gave me some advice once,
about relationships: ‘Start out like you can hold out.’ She told
me that when I was getting married, referring to the fact that I
shouldn’t necessarily sign up to cook dinner and do the dishes
every night. If you’re the person who says yes to every project,
that’s a dangerous mentality to get into. Let’s not talk about
work/life balance: Let’s just talk about living, about making great
choices both at work and home.”
SAY NO TO CHAINING YOURSELF TO A DESK
“During
a major product release, I watched a member of my management team
work incredible hours. He was stressed and exhausted, and on three
different occasions I said, ‘Go on a vacation,’ and he said,
‘Yeah, yeah, but I’ve got this-and-this to do.’ Finally I
called his wife and said, ‘I’m staging an intervention. Your
husband is about to kill himself. I want you guys to go on a
vacation. I’m going to pay for it. There are two requirements: It
needs to be a week, and it needs to happen in the next two.’ Five
days later they were gone, and when he came back he was in a
completely different mental place.”
SAY NO TO ALL-NIGHTERS
“I
noticed early on that if I didn’t honor my need for sleep, I became
a miserable person. I see my friends killing themselves and wearing
it as a badge of honor that they sleep only four hours a night. We
can be incredibly effective and productive, but we’ve got to rest.
I’m of the opinion we should do less and sleep more.”
BYDAVID
ZAXhttp://www.fastcompany.com/3036409/how-i-get-it-done/the-many-many-many-things-you-should-say-no-to-at-work?utm_source
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