WHY DO WOMEN NEGOTIATE FOR LESS THAN THEY DESERVE AT WORK?
RECENT
RESEARCH HAS FOUND THAT WOMEN AREN'T NEGOTIATING WELL. HERE'S HOW TO
UP YOUR GAME.
Recently,
I interviewed a video production company owner who told me the
starting salary for one position at her company is $65,000. As a
shrewd business person, her opening offer to prospective hires is
$60,000. Invariably, she says, the men she’s interviewing ask for
$70,000 while the women say “okay” to the initial offer. She said
too few women negotiate well overall.
Of
course, the plural of anecdote isn’t data. But when we look at the
numbers, the news isn’t much better.
In
a study
published in the July 2014 issue of Organizational
Behavior and Human Decision Processes, researchers
from the University
of California, Berkeley,
and the
University of Pennsylvania found
that women were more often perceived to be easily misled than men. To
no one’s surprise, women were misled more often than men in
negotiations. A
2010 study published in the Journal
of Personality and Social Psychology found
that women tend to be more timid when negotiating on behalf of
themselves, fearing backlash, but are effective when it comes to
negotiating on someone else’s behalf.
So
why do many women tend to settle?
Atlanta-based
sports agent Molly
Fletcher,
author of A
Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversations Get Deals Done,
says women hold themselves back in a number of areas.
They worry
about the impact of negotiations on the relationship and are more
likely to avoid negotiating altogether if they can, so they’re less
practiced at it than many of their male counterparts.
For Fletcher,
who was called “the female Jerry Maguire” by CNN, it’s
exasperating.
“You
don’t want to be another statistic in the data--another woman
accepting a job for less because she’s a woman. I mean, you’ve
got to be kidding me. We need to get paid for what we do,” Fletcher
says.
From
hashing out your next raise to getting the best price on a car, it’s
important to be able to work out deals to your best advantage. Here’s
how to up your game.
EXPLORE YOUR HESITATION.
If
you’re going to become a better negotiator, you need to overcome
your reluctance to do it. Often, women have been socialized from a
young age to make peace and not to ask for what they want, says Carol
Frohlinger,
founder of Negotiating Women, Inc., a New York City training firm
that helps women be more effective negotiators, and coauthor of Her
Place at the Table: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiating Five Key
Challenges to Leadership Success. When
you’re feeling tense about entering into a negotiation, try to put
your finger on what’s making you uncomfortable, she says.
“Maybe
they’ve advocated for their own interests in the past and come up
against a brick wall or had bad experiences,” she says. But that
doesn’t mean the next time will have the same outcome, she adds.
PREPARE.
Before
you sit down to negotiate, think through what you want and what you
believe the other party wants. Make a list of the pertinent
information, such as the accomplishments that qualify you for a
promotion or the research you’ve done on a deal’s financials.
Also think about the various scenarios that might play out.
If
you anticipate reactions, you’ll be better able to handle them,
Frohlinger says. Focus on any words you might hear that might cause
discomfort so they don’t throw you, such as if you’re told you
lack experience or that what you want isn’t reasonable. And
practice out loud.
“There’s
a difference between knowing what you’re going to say in a given
situation and actually getting the words out of your mouth in a way
that’s comfortable for you, and culturally compatible,” she says.
STAY CURIOUS, NOT DEFENSIVE.
When
we get pushback in negotiating, it’s common to feel defensive,
Fletcher says. That’s a road block to negotiating.
Instead,
work on asking questions and remaining curious about what the other
party is trying to accomplish. The more you understand the other
party’s perspective, the better able you’ll be to find suitable
middle ground in your negotiations.
KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY, EVEN TEMPORARILY.
Sometimes,
the back-and-forth in negotiating can leave you unsure what to do. If
you need to take a break, do so. If you feel pressured to agree to
something about which you’re unsure or if you need to do some
additional thinking or calculation to ensure a deal is right for you,
say so, Fletcher says. In most cases, there’s nothing wrong with
walking away and coming back to the table after you’ve had time to
reconsider your options.
Overall,
the key to negotiating most effectively is being able to say “no”
to conditions that aren’t right for you. And, whatever you do,
don’t feel pressured to fill pauses in the conversation. They’re
often used to add an element of tension and pressure, Fletcher says.
PRACTICE.
The
more you negotiate, the better you’ll get, Frohlinger says. It may
not always come easily or be enjoyable, but putting your negotiating
skills to work for yourself can help you earn more, save money, and
get what you need--or, at least, closer to it--in any given
situation, she says.
BY GWEN
MORAN
http://www.fastcompany.com/3036636/strong-female-lead/why-do-women-negotiate-for-less-than-they-deserve-at-work?utm_source=mailchimp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=fast-company-daily-manual-newsletter&position=anjali&partner=newsletter
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