Life: What are the top 10 things that
we should be informed about in life?
1.
Realize that nobody cares, and if they do, you
shouldn't care that they care.
Got a new car? Nobody cares. You'll get some gawkers
for a couple of weeks—they don't care. They're curious. Three weeks in it'll be
just another shiny blob among all the thousands of others crawling down the
freeway and sitting in garages and driveways up and down your street. People
will care about your car just as much as you care about all of those. Got a new
gewgaw? New wardrobe? Went to a swanky restaurant? Exotic vacation? Nobody
cares. Don't base your happiness on people caring, because they won't. And if
they do, they either want your stuff or hate you for it.
2.
Some rulebreakers will break rule number one.
Occasionally, people in your life will defy the odds
and actually care about you. Still not your stuff, sorry. But if they value
you, they'll value that you value it, and they'll listen. When you talk about
all of those things that nobody else cares about, they will look into your eyes
and consume your words, and in that moment you will know that every part of
them is there with you.
3.
Spend your life with rulebreakers.
Marry them. Befriend them. Work with them. Spend
weekends with them. No matter how much power you become possessed of, you'll
never be able to make someone care—so gather close the caring.
4.
Money is cheap.
I mean, there's a lot of it—trillions upon trillions
of dollars floating around the world, largely made up of cash whose value is
made up and ascribed to it, anyway. Don't engineer your life around getting a
slightly less tiny portion of this pile, and make your spirit of generosity reflect
this principle. I knew a man who became driven by the desire to amass six
figures in savings, so he worked and scrimped and sacrificed to get there. And
he did... right before he died of cancer. I'm sure his wife's new husband
appreciated his diligence.
5.
Money is expensive.
I mean, it's difficult to get your hands on
sometimes—and you never know when someone's going to pull the floorboards out
from under you—so don't be stupid with it. Avoid debt on depreciating assets,
and never incur debt in order to assuage your vanity (see rule number one).
Debt has become normative, but don't blithely accept it as a rite of passage
into adulthood—debt represents imbalance and, in some sense, often a
resignation of control. Student loan debt isn't always avoidable, but it isn't
a given—my wife and I completed a combined ten years of college with zero debt
between us. If you can't avoid it, though, make sure that your degree is an
investment rather than a liability—I mourn a bit for all of the people going
tens of thousands of dollars in debt in pursuit of vague liberal arts degrees
with no idea of what they want out of life. If you're just dropping tuition
dollars for lack of a better idea at the moment, just withdraw and go wander
around Europe for a few weeks—I guarantee you'll spend less and learn more in
the process.
6.
Learn the ancient art of rhetoric.
The elements of rhetoric, in all of their forms, are
what make the world go around—because they are what prompt the decisions people
make. If you develop an understanding of how they work, while everyone else is
frightened by flames and booming voices, you will be able to see behind veils
of communication and see what levers little men are pulling. Not only will you
develop immunity from all manner of commercials, marketing, hucksters and
salesmen, to the beautiful speeches of liars and thieves, you'll also find
yourself able to craft your speech in ways that influence people. When you know
how to speak in order to change someone's mind, to instill confidence in someone,
to quiet the fears of a child, then you will know this power firsthand.
However, bear in mind as you use it that your opponent in any debate is not the
other person, but ignorance.
7.
You are responsible to everyone, but
you're responsible for yourself.
I believe we're responsible to everyone for something,
even if it's something as basic as an affirmation of their humanity. However,
it should most often go far beyond that and manifest itself in service to
others, to being a voice for the voiceless. If you're reading this, there are
those around you who toil under burdens larger than yours, who stand in need of
touch and respect and chances. Conversely, though, you're responsible for yourself.
Nobody else is going to find success for you, and nobody else is going to
instill happiness into you from the outside. That's on you.
8.
Learn to see reality in terms of systems.
When you understand the world around you as a massive
web of interconnected, largely interdependent systems, things get much less
mystifying—and the less we either ascribe to magic or allow to exist behind a
fog, the less susceptible we'll be to all manner of being taken advantage of.
However:
9.
Account for the threat of unexpected events.
Sometimes chaos consumes the most meticulous of plans,
and if you live life with no margins in a financial, emotional, or any other
sense, you will be subject to its whims. Take risks, but backstop them with
something—I strongly suspect these people who say having a Plan B is a sign of
weak commitment aren't living hand to mouth. Do what you need to in order to
keep your footing.
10.
You both need and don't need other people.
You need others in a sense that you need to be part of
a community—there's a reason we reflexively pity hermits. Regardless of your
theory of anthropogenesis, it's hard to deny that we are built for community,
and that 'we' is always more than 'me.' However, you don't need another person
in order for your life to have meaning—this idea that Disney has shoved through
our eyeballs, that there's someone out there for all of us if we'll just
believe hard enough and never stop searching, is hokum... because of
arithmetic, if nothing else. Establish your own life—then, if there's a
particular person that you can't help but integrate, believe me, you'll know.
11. Always give more
than is required of you.
BY
Justin
Freeman, Public Safety at Missouri State University;
former pastor and police officer
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