CAREER SPECIAL...How to Compliment at the Workplace

How to Compliment at the Workplace

A compliment is an icebreaker, a mood setter, not to mention an image maker. Rules, Dos and Donts

    What is it about compliments — giving and receiving them — that stumps even the most socially adept among us? Working in an office that doesn’t subscribe to the so-called “stuffy” code of conduct, compliments are casually thrown and equally casually treated. The other day, a female colleague called another female colleague, in a group mind you, “fetching” (well the word she used was less office-worthy). Then another time, this cubicle mate commented on another’s shoes, and the receiver instead of acknowledging it, gave a spiel on the woes of shopping for odd-sizes! Then there was the case of complimenting gone horribly wrong when in a previous office a colleague praised the boss during an office lunch.
    In the world of social etiquette, compliments are important. If done right, they are effective icebreakers, morale uplifters and builds you up as a thoughtful person. But we rarely realise this.
Why Compliment?
Paying compliments is strategically important. Because at the workplace everyone’s wrapped in their own work. That’s where you figure. A wellplaced compliment will make you valuable, noteworthy and better suited for leadership. How? Because you are the selfless colleague who notices people’s skills and achievements — and lauds it instead of being jealous. And they say flattery will get you nowhere. But “they” can be wrong. Here are five rules of complimenting.
Rule #1
Think Before You Speak
Keep the mind-to-mouth connection on before doling out praise. The main rule is: keep it insightful, specific and empathetic. Steer away from brownnosing, so no ‘Oh, you are so smart and some such’. Instead craft your compliment around something you noticed about the person, that even he might be unaware of.
You Should: Be specific. Do some research on the person. Figure out what makes them nervous and comfort them through a compliment.
Rule #2
Time Your Praise
More than the right words, it’s the right moment. It’s all about timing. But also empathise with the person. If they are in a slump, a well-placed compliment might motivate him.
You Should: Be quick. The best time to compliment is immediately after someone does something praiseworthy. Wait for long and you have missed the bus.
Rule #3
Flatter, Don’t Flirt
Workplace compliments should stay work related. So high-fiving them on a funny email is not legit. But since offices have become more open so have compliments. You can slip in an occasional compliment for someone’s looks but body parts, weight or skin conditions are out of bounds. And limit the personal praise especially with the opposite gender.
You Should: Keep it official. Complimenting a woman colleague on her looks is a no-no. Instead mention their role in the office.
Rule #4
Complimenting the Boss
If you don’t want to be branded as an ass-kisser, compliment superiors covertly. Slip the praise in while talking. The best way: praise him to others in the office, not directly. Sooner than later, he will hear about it.
You Should: Be discreet. Best way to praise the boss directly is in private.
Rule #5
Don’t Overdo It
The only way to use compliments to build your image is to use it sparingly. Find the right mix between too little and too much. But whenever you do utter a word of praise, be honest — it will shine through. Only then can you build trust.
You Should: Keep a check. Complimenting shouldn’t be an annual event neither a daily affair.

Compliments 101
The wrong compliment can be misconstrued as harassment in the workplace. Follow these rules to get it right
Compliment Their Work
If your coworker has done something good, give them the recognition. A “Job well done” will go a long way. Stop by his/her office and compliment
Don’t Get Personal
If you must, then compliment the colour but nothing too personal. Don’t say it if you are debating whether the compliment will be misconstrued
Notice Their Work Ethic
If your coworker is putting in a lot of hours, compliment their dedication. He/she will feel happy that at least their hard work is being noticed
Show Your Appreciation
If anyone goes out of their way make sure to compliment their generosity and thank them. An unexpected compliment can make someone’s day.

 
How to Take a Compliment

Don’t React by smiling shyly, “Oh, I don’t deserve it”

Do
Own your accomplishments. It wasn’t luck or the goodwill that led to it. Even in case of ‘right place, right time’, you recognised an opportunity

Don’t
Deflect your compliments to others. Often we call it a group thing, or worse “luck”

Do
Own up to your contribution. Don’t take credit for other’s work but don’t negate yours Don’t
Point out your weaknesses, by saying that “I could have done x, y and z better”

Do
Be honest. Instead of using the above line, say “We still have to do x, y and z but we are on the right track”

Don’t
Assume that the other person doesn’t really mean it. They might not, but then again, they might. Taking it coolly is an insult to the person

Do

 Be appreciative. A compliment is a gift, why reject it

Don’t
Make them work for it. Cut out the “Oh it was nothing” or “I just did what I had to do”. It makes them repeat it and makes you look like a compliment fisher

Do
Be gracious and accept it. And if needed, pay one back. Let them know that you appreciate them for appreciating you

:: Nupur Amarnath