Three
Surprising Insights about Success and Happiness
The path to a healthy, successful, and meaningful life may not be
what we expect.
Sometimes,
findings from the research on well-being seem a bit obvious: Gratitude will
make you happier; mindfulness reduces your stress; it feels good to be kind.
But the
findings of other studies are much more counterintuitive. This kind of research
challenges how we think the world works; if we’re open to it, it can
drastically change our day-to-day lives and our communities.
At the
International Positive Psychology Association’s 5th World Congress—a four-day conference held earlier this month with more than 1,300
attendees—I heard three insights that challenged my assumptions. They offered
new ways to think about the things we want most in life—including health,
success, and happiness.
1. You don’t have to be
charismatic to succeed
In the
past, business researchers focused on how much influence or information
employees managed to amass in their organization. They visualized complex
networks of interconnections, with the most influential and knowledgeable
workers at the center.
But Kim
Cameron, a University of Michigan professor and pioneer in the field of
positive organizational psychology, tried a new kind of mapping: He plotted
employees by their “relational energy.” Relational energy is how much your interactions
with others motivate, invigorate, and energize them (rather than draining or
exhausting them, something we’ve all experienced).
The
result? The relational energy network predicted performance four times better than networks based on influence or
information. In other words, having a positive and energizing impact on others
seems much more important to how much you achieve at work than getting people
to do what you want or hoarding secrets. And when a leader is more positively
energizing, her employees perform better, are more satisfied and engaged with
their jobs, and have higher well-being at home.
Cameron’s
research has found that positive energizers tend to be trustworthy, grateful,
humble, authentic, and forgiving; they’re also good problem solvers with high
standards. Accordingly, relational energy is not a form of
natural charisma or attractiveness. It’s something that can be cultivated.
2. We stink at motivating people
to be healthy
If you’re
the government, a workplace wellness program, or a well-meaning spouse, you
might try to convince your target that they are exercising too little and
stressing out too much. The media is particularly fond of framing stories this way.
But
according to Stanford University professor Alia Crum, these messages may have
the exact opposite effect as intended. Her research has found
that what we believe—our mindset, in other words—can actually have physical
effects on our bodies.
In a
series of nearly-unbelievable studies, she found that stress creates an unhealthier physical response when we believe that stress
is bad for us; how we think our exercise levels compare to
others’ affects our risk of death beyond our actual level of
activity; the same drink affects our hunger hormones differently depending on whether we
believe it’s healthy or indulgent; and hotel maids improve their weight and blood pressure after simply learning that
their work involves exercise.
In other
words, telling people just how unhealthy their lifestyles are could help create
a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So,
what’s the alternative? Rather than focusing on the harm in unhealthy behavior,
Crum suggests making healthy behaviors seem more appealing. In one forthcoming
study, she found that cafeteria-goers ate more vegetables when they were given
enticing names: “twisted citrus-glazed carrots” rather than “carrots with
sugar-free citrus dressing.”
In other
words, rather than scaring people with statistics, we might do better telling
them about the joys of a sunset run by the lake, a fresh salad from the
farmer’s market, or a heart-warming loving-kindness meditation.
3. Your life may be more
meaningful than you think
Most of
us don’t have to look too far, argued University of Missouri professor Laura
King. In a passionate and thought-provoking talk, she cited research showing
that little things can increase our sense of meaning: seeing images of trees that represent the passing
of the seasons; being reminded of morning-related words (pancakes, bacon, sunrise)
in the morning; or having more routine in our lives.
On the
flipside, King found that our sense of meaning is pretty resilient to
adversity. For example, even the recent U.S. election wasn’t enough to decrease
liberals’ sense of meaning in life (though it did create other negative
feelings).
There is
no crisis of meaning in the world, she argued. Meaning isn’t reserved for
special, transcendent moments; it’s part and parcel of our lives, if only we
open our eyes to it.
“People
don’t need to know how to make their lives meaningful. They need to know that
they already are,” King said. And when we believe in the meaningfulness of our
lives, we unlock the benefits of more positive feelings and better
relationships.
Her
research raised many questions for attendees: Is this kind of meaning the same
as the deep meaning that comes from having a purpose or caring for others? What
about people living in chaotic, dangerous environments, whose lives
really don’t make sense?
Despite
these questions, the notion that most of our lives already have structure,
predictability, and meaning is a provocative one.
BY KIRA M.
NEWMAN
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_surprising_insights_about_success_and_happiness?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=a4cdc3eba2-GG_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_07_02&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-a4cdc3eba2-51482775
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