Who You Are Is How You Lead
One of the most common questions I get, as a leadership coach,
from my clients is, “What’s your leadership philosophy?” I tread lightly when
answering because the simple-sounding query is actually quite loaded.
Some people ask because they want to explore the most popular
concepts about leadership in the business world. Others want to simplify
leadership complexities into consumable phrases and equivalent frameworks that
allow them to feel as if they can hook into something tangible. A deeper
intention is to measure how they stack up against credible definitions of good
leadership. Those who take their own development seriously naturally want to
know if they’re doing it right.
But there’s a real problem with this question, because there is no
unified philosophy of leadership, no one-size-fits-all mantra.
Although textbooks can
explain the differences between autocratic, participatory, and laissez-faire
modes of leadership, once you identify with a core concept — I tell
people what to do, I involve people in what’s important, I trust others to do
what matters — personalization and nuance is lost. These, and the many
other approaches to leadership, require emphasis on an exclusive set of ideas
and related behaviors, which makes choosing just one, and living by it,
difficult.
To work around the limitation, emerging leaders are often advised
to adapt a blend of styles, using a rotation of condition-specific leadership
approaches to match the changing circumstances around them. Think of this
approach to finding your philosophy as “situational leadership.” Although
this may sound better than “just pick one,” it can feel like too big an ask —
especially for top performers in high-demand organizations who don’t have the
time (or margin for error) to engage in long cycles of trial and error and
reflection in order to get the mix just right.
After years of coaching and careful contemplation on the matter, I
answer the question like this: An effective leadership style isn’t a blend of
academic theories or a sequence of buzzwords that resonate with you, or even
that resonate with me. It’s the simple act of you being who you are in the
company of others. It’s what you’ve experienced, who you are right now, and who
you aim to be. Simply put: Who you are is how you lead.
To grow into your best version of a leader, start with a
commitment to authenticity. Sustaining an enduring alignment between your
values and your actions is vital. It’s what lets you be you and it serves as a bond
of integrity that enables your followers to trust you. Increase the alignment
between your values and behaviors by understanding what makes you tick —
defining the specific values that animate you — then making them apparent
to your clients and teams. This integrity will produce a more consistent,
authentic expression of who you are in the moments that matter.
If you’ve never clarified your values, or if you haven’t refreshed
them lately, take yourself through this simple exercise: Write down the five to
10 words or phrases that best reflect the internal cares, concerns, and
priorities that drive you. I recommend creating a first draft, taking some time
to reflect, and then writing a second draft to ensure that the list is really
your truth, and not what others expect or value.
You may find a few of your
top values are pretty universal, for example: honesty, transparency,
and integrity. Alternatively, you may find that this process leads
to novel concepts and simple but powerful principles such as: making a
meaningful contribution to others; doing my best work, every time;
or making somebody’s day a little better. There is no right answer
— the measure of success is the clarity you have on what matters to you, as
well as the capacity to express those things across all of your tasks and
relationships.
But how well are you conveying what matters to you? Once you have
the words and phrases on paper, test their integrity with these prompts:
·
Which three values on my list are nonnegotiable?
·
Which values do I consistently model to my team?
·
Which do I struggle to demonstrate?
·
If there are gaps between my values and actions, what’s causing
them? What actions can I take to close the gaps?
Answering these questions is important because there are many
nuances to contend with. And values can compete — they can have differing
levels of influence in different situations. For instance, people often say
transparency is nonnegotiable, but once they look at their behavior, they find
that isn’t always the case. As an example, you may notice that there is a
breakdown in communication among team members, yet you make the intentional
choice not to be vocal about the issue. But does not talking to your team about
the problem mean you’re betraying your value of transparency? It could, or it
could be a wise and compassionate choice to dial back transparency because
another one of your values, “developing others,” is more important here. Not
being transparent allows you to make room for others to name and resolve issues
and grow.
When it comes down to it, people may ask about leadership
philosophies, but they don’t really care all that much about what leadership
theory is, or isn’t — they want to be distinctive. And there is nothing more
distinctive than you, exercising the full measure of your character in both the
small and crucial moments. By strengthening the alignment between your values
and your actions, you give yourself the chance to fully make who you are how
you lead.
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