How
to Stop Worrying and Regain Control of Your Life
Have you ever experienced this — your brain couldn’t stop
replaying worst-case scenarios as you close your eyes?
What if I can’t make a great impression on my first day of work?
Let’s see, I will wear this shirt with that pair of pants. Will I overdress? Oh
no, I need to wake up earlier to iron my shirt. Wait, did I lock the door?
Usually, most of these worries are unnecessary.
In a study done in 2015, researchers discovered neurotic, worry-obsessed,
and anxious people tend to be more creative. Unfortunately, while over-worriers
are blessed to be extraordinarily creative, it is their creativity that fuels
their anxiety.
Over-worriers
put their thoughts in the wrong places
They use their imaginations in the wrong way. They
tend to put their creativity to generate what ifs, could haves, should
haves, instead of solving problems.
They focus too much on the future. American
motivational speaker Leo F. Buscaglia says it best, “Worry never robs tomorrow
of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
They keep guessing other’s mind. Reading
someone’s mind doesn’t work usually. It will end up in more worries and
misunderstandings.
Many people with the tendency of over-worrying believe they can
hardly change this habit, or although the panic brought by over-worrying is
unbearable, they can live normally after the panic recedes. So they choose to
leave the problem unsolved. If that’s your thought, you should abandon it as
soon as possible because…
It takes a toll
on your mental health and physical health
Hypervigilance. Because of anxieties and
worries, an over-thinker is constantly on the lookout for possible threats,
even in the tiniest things.
Reduced concentration and indecisiveness. The
brain of the over-worrier drifts in and out of their thoughts. Without focus,
they can’t think properly or make decisions.
Problem-focused. Worriers are
obsessed with problems instead of solutions.
Worries lower your immune system. Constant
worries put you in a more tired and lethargic place, which makes you more prone
to infections.
Worries cause insomnia. With your head
spinning and thoughts tossing you left and right, it’s hard to get a good night
sleep.
So how can you stop worrying and overthinking?
Write off your
worries
How? Whenever you are worried, list the problems
bothering you and possible solutions non-stop within 3 minutes. You don’t have
to be organized with your thoughts, just write as your mind flows.
Why? It’s usually the abstract and ambiguous
thoughts that make you worry much. By turning the thoughts into something
concrete through writing, you can empty worries and fears out of your mind.
Also, thinking more of solutions can shift your attention to the outcome and
action instead of the problem itself.
Example: You made an insensitive
remark towards your co-worker, and you are worried she is upset with you.
Instead, write down the possible actions you can take to solve the situation,
like apologizing to your co-worker.
Focus on
external environment instead of your inner thoughts
How? When your mind is not occupied, don’t wander off to your
worries and inner thoughts, but shift your focus to something else — the
details of what you see.
Why? Science has found that a wandering mind is an unhappy
mind. A wandering mind usually creates negative thoughts, and most worries are
self-produced. Occupying your mind with objective facts rather than subjective
imagination can help you live in the present.
Example: When you are commuting to work, don’t
let your idle mind wander off to personal troubles and distresses, but pay
attention to the people, the scenery, or the little things next to you.
Challenge your
irrational anxious thoughts
How? List your worries out and ask yourself in a
third-person perspective.
- Are
there any evidences to support this thought for being true/false?
- Can
I look at this situation more positively and realistically?
- What’s
the possibility of this worry going to happen?
- How
will worrying about this help or hurt me?
Why? As humans, we are easily convinced and persuaded by our
irrational thoughts because of our confirmation bias. Take a objective look at
your own worries can help you eliminate unnecessary thoughts.
Example: You just pitched an idea to your boss,
and you thought your performance was less than satisfactory. Start asking
yourself these questions:
- Could
your boss spot the one tiny point you missed?
- Would
worrying increase the chances of your pitch being chosen?
When you rationally challenge yourself, you’ll soon realize
these worries are insignificant.
Need more
guidance? Here are two books to further lead you to a less anxious and
worrisome life:
This book deals with the fundamental causes of worries, and
provides solutions to improve your physical health, mental health, and overall
psychological mindset.
The authors suggest to get rid of worries, one of the most
important ways is to be mindful and clean up your mental clutter.
http://www.lifehack.org/570358/how-stop-worrying-2?ref=mail&mtype=daily_newsletter&mid=20170404&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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