10 CAREER LESSONS YOU SHOULD LEARN BY YOUR 30S
TOUGH SITUATIONS OFTEN HAPPEN AS
YOU'RE BUILDING YOUR CAREER IN YOUR 20S. EXPERT ADVICE ON THE HIDDEN LESSONS IN
THESE SETBACKS.
Some of the most
important lessons you learn during your first decade working in "the real
world" come from one source: the school of hard knocks.
There are professional
failures you can’t predict, opportunities that end up being too good to be
true, and moments when you don’t live up to your potential.
Although they may seem
career-ending in the moment, these workplace setbacks can prove their value
over time.
In part, it’s because
they are mistakes you’ll never forget or repeat.
We rounded up 10 tough
career scenarios that often happen as you’re building your career in your
20s—along with expert advice on how to find the "silver lining"
lessons within these career clouds.
It’s a common
predicament: You nailed what you thought was the perfect gig—but your
day-to-day hasn’t lived up to the hype or your lofty expectations.
That’s the situation
Golda Manuel found herself in when, at 28, she scored a pharmacist position at
a health care company in San Francisco.
"My attraction to
the job was the breadth of impact I thought I could have, but there was no time
to focus on one customer—it was very impersonal," recalls Manuel. "I
expected it to make me happy and earn me respect. Boy, was I wrong."
The Silver Lining
Lesson: This kind of
career reality check can inspire soul-searching—and ultimately lead you in an
unexpected, more satisfying direction.
Take Manuel, who cofounded
Social Scout, an app that helps small business sellers succeed on Amazon—a
complete 180 from her pharmacist gig.
"I’m now able to
speak to fellow small business owners to understand their growing pains, and
work in a community with a common goal and purpose," she says.
A dream job’s letdown
is also a reminder not to assume any one thing will make you
happy—be it a job or a purchase.
Cheryl Palmer, founder
of Washington, D.C., coaching firm Call To Career, emphasizes setting realistic expectations from the get-go for
any job—even those purported "dream gigs."
So instead of being
bummed that your job isn’t as fast-paced as you’d hoped it would be, for
example, look at it from the viewpoint that you can channel that energy toward
networking and getting more involved with industry events.
"I encourage
clients to find as much job satisfaction as they can while still being
realistic," Palmer says. To keep the pros and cons in perspective, she
recommends regularly taking the pulse on your job satisfaction. If it’s at 80%,
you’re doing pretty well—but if it dips to 40%, it may be time to move on.
You’re burned out from
months of job hunting. You’re overconfident. You’re just not that into the
position—but you need a job.
Whatever the reason,
not knowing enough about a company, a role, or the person interviewing you
leaves an equally poor impression.
That’s what happened
to Karen Robertson. At 21, she felt overqualified for a telemarketing job but
needed the income. "I was about to get my [teaching] degree, and I was
arrogant," she says. "I felt like any fool could do the job—and it
came off that way in the interview."
Needless to say, she
didn’t get the gig.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: An interview
requires your valuable time—and someone else’s. Flubbing it takes you down a
few notches.
So how do you save
face?
"Send a thank-you
note, anyway," suggests Rosalinda Randall, a career etiquette expert and author of Don’t
Burp In The Boardroom. "I believe there’s value in acknowledging that
you were unprepared, and that with the research you’ve done now, you would be
grateful for another opportunity."
Doing your homework is
just as important when networking.
Toronto-based career
and leadership coach Kamara Toffolo once
confidently approached an exec at a financial services conference to introduce
herself. It went well—until she introduced herself again later in the day.
His response?
"You’re in a business where you need to remember names." Ouch.
"I am now an
expert at remembering faces and names," she says. "It’s a skill that
has served me very well." In fact, Toffolo graciously apologized for her
error and, years later, that same man gave her a job.
An "I’ll do
it!" attitude can build a reputation as a team player—until you find
yourself in danger of seriously dropping the ball.
"This is a
classic symptom of being a people pleaser, and something that many of us run
into early in our careers," says Toffolo.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Biting off more
than you can chew reflects some admirable qualities, like ambition and initiative.
But long-term success also depends on learning to set expectations and ask
clarifying details, whether it’s related to deadlines, process or resources.
"It’s perfectly
acceptable to say to someone that you will check or look into something before
assuring them it can be done," Toffolo says.
Understanding why a
project left you unprepared can also highlight professional areas of
improvement. So take this as an opportunity to assess where you may need more
training—and then make a plan for how to brush up on those skills.
Sometimes you can go
above and beyond what’s asked of you—and still get overlooked. Or, worse yet,
you can get laid off unexpectedly, despite putting in your best effort.
If you don’t get a
coveted promotion, Toffolo says you should use it as motivation to be more
proactive.
YOUR SUCCESS IS
DETERMINED BY YOUR MIND-SET, YOUR WILL AND YOUR WORK ETHIC—NOT SOMEONE ELSE
"Getting passed
over means you should keep doing a great job, but with the addition of asking
for more responsibility and involvement," she says. Once you’ve built a
strong case, speak up for that promotion you’ve worked so hard to demonstrate
you deserve.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: While fortune
does favor the bold, keep in mind that you can’t control all the factors
influencing your office or your industry at large.
A pattern of being
passed over, however, can signal that it’s time to take a step back and
consider a professional pivot.
As for being
blindsided by a layoff? Don’t take it personally, says Toffolo. instead, take
action to keep moving forward.
For Amanda Rose, 34,
being laid off from a corporate gig led her to launch her own business, the
matchmaking firm Dating Boutique. Rose says the experience taught her that not
getting what you want in your career can be more valuable than getting it.
"Your success is
determined by your mind-set, your will and your work ethic—not someone
else," adds Rose.
"Unfortunately,
in my experience, bad bosses are more plentiful than good bosses," Palmer
says.
So the better you can
learn to peacefully co-exist with people you don’t enjoy, the less you’ll be
impacted by them—both in and out of the office.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Don’t try to
"solve" the boss. Instead, learn how to manage your reactions, and
work within the conditions you face—assuming, of course, that the boss isn’t
violating human resources laws.
"Keep your
interactions on topic and to the point. Always use a civil tone, even if your
boss does not. Avoid whining or forming a bash-the-boss clique," advises
Randall. "In other words, don’t give them anything to use against
you."
Ultimately, a bad boss
can teach you behaviors to avoid and help you envision the kind of leader you
want to become.
In a TED Talk about motivation at work, behavioral economist
Dan Ariely explains that most of us need to feel a sense of continual progress
and purpose to stay motivated.
ULTIMATELY, A BAD BOSS
CAN TEACH YOU BEHAVIORS TO AVOID AND HELP YOU ENVISION THE KIND OF LEADER YOU
WANT TO BECOME.
That’s one reason why the
initial high of landing a lucrative gig may quickly become the new normal and
leave you feeling dissatisfied.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Don’t get us
wrong—money is an important part of a job. It impacts when you can reach the
financial goals that will deliver on the quality of life you desire. And what
you earn now determines what you’ll command in your next gig.
But just as the thrill
of a shopping spree wears off quickly, so does the elation of a high salary
when the professional rewards are otherwise sparse.
Recognizing that
income itself has a limited impact on how you feel each day can encourage you
to reevaluate future opportunities with more honesty about what you really
value and want in a job.
For instance, would
you rather take a pay cut but report to an inspiring manager? Or bring home
more dough but have to clock long days because of a competitive environment
that prioritizes face time?
"A great work
environment, work-life balance, room for growth, and a supportive corporate
culture are all part of the motivation equation," Toffolo says.
Even the most seasoned
professionals sometimes make a misstep—and not recognizing and being honest
about this can telegraph immaturity and insecurity.
Shoving something
under the rug may leave you feeling anxious—and you’ll have a lot more
explaining to do if and when your boss finds out.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Instead of
trying to wish away an error, when you do finally fess up, Randall recommends making
no excuses and placing no blame.
Simply let the boss
know that you have learned from the experience, and suggest what you would do
differently the next time.
She also advises
asking your boss two questions to smooth over any rough waters: "How can I
make this right?" and "What can I do to minimize the damage?"
Public-speaking groups
like Toastmasters exist for a reason: Presenting is a skill—and not one that
comes naturally for most.
Bombing in front of a
live audience can happen to the best of us—politicians, Oscar winners, CEOs,
and athletes included. We have YouTube to prove it.
But while giving a
lackluster presentation isn’t a professional habit you want to repeat, it’s not
a career-ending gaffe either.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: "Consider
why your presentation went wrong, and what you could/should have done
differently that would have led to a better outcome," Palmer says.
Did you need more
time, more information, more practice, or do you simply need to brush up on your
public-speaking confidence? All of this can be solved for, so you don’t repeat
your presentation faux pas.
"I also recommend
meeting with your boss to apologize," Randall says. "Leave out the
list of excuses and ask for an honest critique. Even if it hurts, listen,
consider, and apply what you’ve learned."
You spend a lot of
hours at the office, and it can be more fun when you’re among friends—but if
too many conversations center on inappropriate office gossip, you risk calling
your judgment into question.
LEAVE OUT THE LIST OF
EXCUSES AND ASK FOR AN HONEST CRITIQUE. EVEN IF IT HURTS, LISTEN, CONSIDER AND
APPLY WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED.
It’s not always easy
to spot the "good eggs" from those who are insincere or who have a
bad reputation that could tarnish yours. And if you’ve made professional
enemies, their impressions could come back to haunt you later in your career.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Letting your
guard down too much in the workplace presents a challenge—but also a great
opportunity to redefine who you want to be professionally moving forward.
So seek out positive
role models at work—and begin respectfully limiting the amount of time you
spend with the "wrong crowd."
As for people whom
you’ve rubbed the wrong way, "talk to them and let them know that you want
a fresh start," urges Palmer. "It will take some time to rebuild the
relationship, but it’s better to do that than to have to expect a knife in your
back."
Let’s say your manager
invites you to share a project’s findings at a meeting attended by lots of
company bigwigs.
Your presentation goes
off without a hitch: The attendees are interested, asking questions, and
discussing ideas that may be important to keep the project’s momentum moving
forward.
Then your boss makes a
proposal but you don’t agree. And you say so. And just like that, the
high-energy meeting goes to . . . crickets. You misread the room—and your place
in it.
Bottom line: There’s a
fine and sometimes ambiguous line between sharing opinions and speaking out of
turn.
The Silver Lining
Lesson: Learning to edit
yourself is a key ingredient in the recipe for professional success. Your way
isn’t the only approach—and you can’t always be the star.
When you’ve spoken
publicly against your boss, Palmer says damage control is priority number one.
"Explain that you
are still getting acclimated to the work world, and you realize that you were
wrong to air your differences in a forum like that," she says. "Then
reassure your boss that it will never happen again."
In the future, if you
feel strongly that your suggestion is warranted, wait to bring it up with your
boss in a more private setting—and weigh how best to broach the matter.
It’s a long climb up
the corporate ladder, and there’s more payoff to being a supportive team player
than an always-on self-promoter.
BY STEPHANIE TAYLOR CHRISTENSEN
This article
originally appeared on LearnVest
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