Negotiating Your Way Out of Workplace Conflict
When conflict and mistrust cause a breakdown
in working relationships perhaps it’s time to have “that” conversation.
Five years after obtaining
an INSEAD MBA and joining the A&M Corporation, Joanna was promoted to head
of the firm’s Indonesian operations, making her the first person in the
company’s history to advance to a senior position within such a short timeframe
and at such a young age. Her promotion came as a shock to Rupert, a 15-year
company stalwart and its leading expert on Indonesia. Rupert had worked closely
with her predecessor and believed he would be given the post. Not surprisingly
he feels angered by the firm’s decision and the fact that he now reports to
Joanna who he thinks lacks the knowledge and experience to succeed, and may
have only got the promotion by schmoozing with senior leadership.
With A&M looking to
expand its holdings in Indonesia, a market with unique and complex challenges,
Joanna and Rupert openly disagree on which growth strategy the company should
pursue - acquisitions or organic. Communication between them has been poor,
both parties doubting the other’s competence, reliability and intentions. When
Joanna was asked to present her recommended strategy to the CEO she sought
Rupert’s input. He responded with a terse one-line memo: “I think the company
should go for an organic growth strategy instead of an acquisition strategy.”
Frustrated with his lack
of cooperation, she decides to meet with him in person to discuss the problem
between them. While Joanna may like to fire Rupert and employ a new Indonesian
expert, she’s aware that to do so could harm her credibility as a departmental
manager, and would lose the company a valuable resource. But with the situation
as it stands, is there any chance they can find the common ground for a
productive working relationship?
Confronting conflict
When you enter into a
negotiation thinking “I don’t trust you, I don’t like you, I don’t think you
deserve your position”, it may seem there is little chance any conversation
will go well. But there are many ways you can address these issues and
perceptions with very positive outcomes. When entering sensitive negotiations
consider these things:
Timing
Don’t act too soon and
make sure the issue is something that needs confronting. Not every problem
needs to be addressed. In some situations, an employee may be angry or
frustrated over a specific problem – such as missing out on a promotion or
having their ideas rejected – but, if done fairly and in caring ways, given
time most people are mature enough that they will bounce back.
If this doesn’t happen,
and if their actions (or inactions, such as the case with Rupert) continue to
impact your happiness, productivity or your working relationship, then perhaps
it is time to have the conversation. When this happens the key is patience.
Walking into someone’s
office and saying, “We’re having issues here and we need to sort it out”, may
catch them off guard and prompt the wrong response. They could see your
approach as confrontational and take an aggressive comeback or, if they are a
risk-adverse type person or a conflict-avoider, they may simply deny the
problem exists. Be open to having the conversation and even initiating the
conversation, but look for a culturally appropriate hint to suggest the issue
is on the table and that it’s okay to talk about it. For instance they may
react a little bit strongly to a comment or make conflict over something small.
At this stage you might say “Well your response seems to be a bit out of
proportion, there seems to be something else bothering you, shall we talk?”
Power
A manager naturally has
the authoritative position and the ability to fire the employee. But when
addressing issues of trust they should be very careful not to resort to power
moves, a wrong word or expression, even if well-meant could be taken out of
context and interpreted as a threat.
Trust
Often in negotiations with
people who know each other, the real obstacle is not the issue at hand but the
underlying relationship between the parties. In a situation where there is
conflict, there is negative trust often accompanied by prejudices,
preconceptions and biases. Think of ways to rebuild trust, such as sharing
information about each other’s plans and experiences.
When communication starts
and people begin to understand each other, it’s not unusual for them to
discover the conflict in the relationship was based on misconceptions and
misunderstandings. Once these are clarified a lot of broader issues can be
resolved and parties can come back and look at each other, if not with total
trust and care, at least with some respect and an ability to work together
productively in the future.
Common ground
Don’t assume points of
similarity too quickly. It’s easy to give in to wishful thinking and the idea
that because common ground was found on a couple of issues everything will be
fine. This is one of the myths around win-win negotiations that frustrates many
when it does not happen. People try to get to a place of harmony too fast and
tend to brush the risk of potential conflict under the carpet when there’s
still a chance it may explode.
We need to recognise that
relationships need time to build and even more time to rebuild. A successful
negotiation on one point is a step in the right direction, but there may be
other negotiations coming up which won’t go so well.
Nurturing the working relationship
A relationship is like a
chain, every negotiation is a link and, while it sounds cliché, the chain or
relationship is only as strong as its weakest link. As with a marriage, it’s a
continuous effort. While Joanna is expected to maintain a close professional
relationship with Rupert, she has to be careful to make sure the relationship
goes at a proper pace. Once communication has begun she should make sure it
continues, that expectations are understood and accepted and that, in her
eagerness to make it work, she doesn’t take too much risk too quickly.
Horacio Falcão
Read more at
http://knowledge.insead.edu/leadership-organisations/negotiating-your-way-out-of-workplace-conflict-4263?utm_source=INSEAD+Knowledge&utm_campaign=aa392e7a2f-24_Sept_mailer9_23_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e079141ebb-aa392e7a2f-249840429#spEig2DIUzOLKivI
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