How To Change People's
Minds: Show Them The Whole Picture Instead Of Proving Them Wrong
Human has the ability to think and that’s
what makes our world creative. But owing to such diversified thinking,
sometimes it is inevitable for us to come across disagreement.
It can be great or small, such as colleagues
debating corporate strategy, family members discussing holiday destination, or
friends arguing what to eat for dinner. Sometimes you win an argument but
sometimes you don’t.
Despite the fact that disagreement happens
from time to time, it is important for us to learn the art of persuasion
because if we are unable to persuade, we can only be the influenced but not the
influencer. Sometimes we need to compromise but sometimes we need to be
recognized. If our ideas are constantly rejected, then things never happen as
we wish.
Why we always fail to persuade?
It can be frustrating if our ideas are better
but they are not adopted just because we lack the skills to persuade. But many
of us make this mistake unknowingly–When we argue or discuss with others over
an issue, we tend to take the shortcut to prove them wrong logically and at the
same time we are right. This might work occasionally, for those who are
rational and less emotional. But apparently not everyone is rational, at least
not always.
Even if we have convincing arguments, proving
others wrong is kind of explicitly telling others to change their minds. This
often put them in an embarrassing situation because they have to admit that they
are wrong.
The backfire effect: corrections always fail
It is compatible with the backfire effect
suggested by Brendan Nyhan and Jason Reifler at The University of Michigan
and Georgia State University. One of their research was designed to
explore why people insist on their political misperceptions when others try to
correct them.
It shows that corrections actually enhance
misperceptions among the group in question. In other words, corrections have no
use. People who are being corrected in fact reject the ideas from those who
hold different beliefs.
Persuade by showing the whole picture
Knowing that changing people’s minds is such
a difficult work, we might want to try something suggested by the authority.
Blaise Pascal, a 17th-century French philosopher, wrote the famous
classic Persuasion long before psychology was invented. His
idea is later proven by modern psychologists, Arthur Markman.Pascal suggested
that the surefire way to change others’ minds is to show them the whole
picture instead of proving them wrong as the two simple steps listed
below:
1. Acknowledge the validity of the other’s point of view
2. Lead them to discover the other side of their argument
There should be something valuable in
everyone’s point of view. So first you should recognize their contributions and
admit what they are right about. Then, you should gradually reveal the other
side to them, which is the part they have not observed. The following scenario
might help you better understand the idea:
Imagine you are thinking what to eat for dinner with your
friends.A: I’d like some burgers. I’m starving.(But you want something
else.)You: Well… Burger might be good. What about pizza? It can also make
you feel full. Plus you might have more options in the Italian restaurant.
After all, everyone has some blind spots and many people
realize that. They won’t be offended by such persuasion approach because
they feel like they only fail to see all sides instead of mistaking. Also,
people are generally better persuaded by reasons they discover by themselves
than by those implemented by others.
Give suggestions instead of commands
Such
approach also allows you to better hide your intention to persuade. That’s why
you should also pay attention to your tone when speaking to them. You need to play
the role of a guide instead of an instructor. You should be guiding them
instead of enforcing authority, raising questions instead of making judgements.
Others will feel better and consider what you want them to think about if you
sound more friendly and suggestive.
A
successful persuasion cannot be achieved only by strong and valid points. To
make people let their guard down, you also need some techniques. So don’t let
others bury your brilliant ideas. Be brave to speak them up and be smart to
showcase them.
http://www.lifehack.org/561329/how-change-peoples-mind-show-them-the-whole-picture-instead-proving-them-wrong?ref=mail&mtype=daily_newsletter&mid=20170322_editor_pick&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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