How
To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can't Stop Thinking About It
I was
falling asleep and suddenly… “BANG BANG BANG”…
Loud noise
from neighbourhood…it was 2 am!
It has
been a tough day and I just wanted to sleep well!
Why do you
have to disturb me? Tell me why…
Filled
with anger, I found it even harder to fall asleep…
And I know
sometimes anger just makes the situation worse, as there are a lot of
consequences…
Anger is associated with type 2 diabetes
According
to an article in the Journal of Medicine and Life in 2010, anger can have a
direct impact upon cardiovascular diseases. [1] Not
only that, scientists also associated it with the type 2 diabetes and many
other diseases that many of us are not aware of. One thing not to forget though
is, unhealthy habits like smoking, taking drugs or simply eating too much,
resulting in obesity might also be possible when one is too angry that they
would like to take a little ‘escape’ for comfort by doing those unhealthy
habits or by eating.
Anger makes you have less interaction with others
The reason
why anger could lead to obesity lies on the negative effects anger has on our
mental health. Anger is linked with, by many scientists in their studies,
depression. When being angry, we often want to isolate ourselves from people in
which we will then have little interaction, and this in long term can cause
depression.
Should I just let it all hang out?
If anger
is not good for our health, but why do people say it is good to “Let it All
Hang Out?’’, is this even true?
The answer from psychologists is a big NO.
This is actually a very dangerous myth that some of us use as an excuse to hurt
one another. Research [2] supported those psychologists as
it is shown that letting out of our anger, in fact, escalates our anger and
aggression.
Instead of being angry at the other, it’s
better for you to see how to let go of anger and keep yourself calm and
peaceful.
How to let go
of anger
Write down your experience on a paper
Study finds that writing down feelings does
make us feel better.[3]
Apart from feelings, it’s good to record
every detail. Why? It’s tiring. When you spend so much efforts to narrate the
story and record all the details, at first you may be very enthusiastic but
gradually you’ll want to end it as soon as possible. This is a very effective
way to make yourself move on naturally.
Things to include are:
- What happened? When? What? Why? Who?
Where?
- Why made you particularly angry?
- What are both of your reactions?
When you finish, glance at it once, then tear
the paper into pieces. It’ll like trashing your anger!
One time I was angry with my mom and I wrote
3 pages. When I finally finished the moment I tore the paper I just laughed (it
felt so good!). And my mom looked at me with a puzzled face.
Give yourself 24 hours before you react
When you’re angry, it’s hard not to react
immediately.
I know how it feels…You just really want to
make a counter argument and get the upper hand again…
But if the person doesn’t care, it’s nonsense
to explain to him/her. If the person cares like they’re your loved ones, when
you react at once, quite likely you’ll say something inappropriate. It would become
an even bigger disaster then.
One great tip a quora user [4]shared is to give yourself 24 hours before
you react.
She said “To remember to give
yourself 24 hours before you react. If something bothers you, angers you, hurts
you or disturbs you, remember you’re not in a normal frame of mind, being put
in an extreme situation. Stay calm, silent and aloof for 24 hours before you
voice your opinion/act or react. If it still bothers you after 24 hours, speak
about it maturely.
You’ll be surprised at how many relationships
you’ll save by not being impulsive in the heat of the moment. When you can do
this, you’re wise enough.”
Really angry now? Set an alarm for yourself
and deal with it 24 hours later. Meanwhile make yourself busy with things
you’ve been wanting to do for so long but haven’t yet.
How to make
yourself less likely to get angry in future
Great books that will make you a calmer
person
The
Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of
Love (APA Lifetools)
Instead of telling you how not to get hurt in
life, this book teaches you step-by-step the way to learn to forgive about the
painful things and awful people that had happened in your life. By learning to
forgive will you be able to learn again, how to love and just like the title,
create a legacy of love in your life for your familes, your friends and
possibly for the world to feel.
Forgiveness
is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope
Written by the same author, this book shows
you how forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven and introduces
you different stages in the forgiving process with examples from children of
divorced parents to parents of murdered children. This book might especially be
good for those who have tried but failed in forgiving before.
What
to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger
Managing our emotions should actually be
learned in a younger age in life and this book provides you and your kid the
guide to deal with their anger and what to do when one is angry. This is a
perfect book for parents who want to but think it is hard to teach their kids
the way to deal with their anger and to explain how overcoming problems with
anger will not work.
Meditation
Mediation is a great way to calm your
emotions including anger. But it takes time to practice before you can master
the skills.
http://www.lifehack.org/568961/how-let-anger-when-you-just-cant-stop-thinking-about?ref=mail&mtype=daily_newsletter&mid=20170331&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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