Friday, June 1, 2018

SKILL SPECIAL ...Journaling Can Boost Your Leadership Skills


Journaling Can Boost Your Leadership Skills
Our lives are awash in digital. Each electronic pulse pushes us to respond instantly. Reply. Like. Share. There is seemingly no beginning and no end to the onslaught. But the beauty of the human brain isn’t its ability to render snap judgment and instantly weigh in on a topic electronically. Quite the opposite. Its greatest capacity is a higher level of thought: to process disparate bits of information, find patterns, and create meaningful dialog and action over time. All of this serves to boost our leadership skills.
This ability flows from our natural hardwiring. To benefit from it, you only need to slow down and let your inner genius emerge. To be sure, easing the pace of life is not so simple when bosses, subordinates, and family members assume you’ll be available online 24/7.
It’s time to slow down and reset expectations. But how?
A practice I have found useful, as have many of my executive education students and coaching clients, is centuries old: keeping a journal. Setting aside as little as 10 minutes a day to record your thoughts stimulates reflection critical to making sense of the fast-moving world around you, which is, in turn, essential to effective leadership. As a leader, you are challenged to perceive patterns from which opportunities and threats emerge. This, in part, makes you worthy of following.
Despite our current proclivity for keyboards and powerful computer processors, journaling is an activity best suited for pen on paper. In this case, analog beats digital because writing something down by hand triggers a part of the brain, known as the reticular activation system, to pay close attention, and may improve retention. Tapping keys doesn’t have the same effect.
Further, journaling engages the analytical, rational functions of the brain, which gives the more creative parts of your cranium space and time to work their magic. Neuroscientists have shown that this type of “mindful concentration” stimulates the parts of the brain that are active when not engaged in directed activity. This is why insights often pop up while you are in the shower, out for a run, or sitting with your journal.
In this way, journaling is an exercise that lets you articulate feelings, which can mitigate their stress-inducing effects; work through challenges; and test options. Also, moving away from your computer or smartphone relieves you of the distractions of email alerts and other digital noise. At its best, a journaling practice creates sacred space for developing a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you, both at work and at home.
The trick is to see journaling as an opportunity, not a chore. It is, first and foremost, for you. Only when you are grounded in who you are — your values, purpose, aspirations, strengths, and fears — can you be the authentic leader worth following. Part of getting there is giving your brain time to process the onslaught of data with which it is barraged every day. Journaling helps you do just that, as it allows you to garner the benefits of both focus and “unfocus.”

There is an I/we dynamic that enables the benefits of journaling to scale. For example, a semi-structured journaling session could be based on three ritual questions: When did I feel strongest today? When did I feel weakest? What does this tell me about myself? Modified slightly, you could ask similar questions on alternate days: When was my team at its best today? When was it at its worst? What does this tell us about ourselves, our customers, or our market? Contemplating these questions and jotting down your thoughts, without worrying about spelling or grammar, helps you tap more of your cognitive capacity as you learn through writing. If that is too much structure, simply let your thoughts flow and be alert for emerging patterns. It is interesting to go back through your notes every quarter or so to see trends and remember both high and low points.
The first reaction to the suggestion of keeping a journal is often that there isn’t enough time. To that I reply: How much time did you spend writing emails today? Or posting on Facebook? There is time if you want there to be. It is a bit of self (not selfish) time with numerous benefits, including improved memory, enhanced cognition, and perhaps even better physical health.
LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner reports that he spends 90 to 120 minutes each day reflecting. I don’t know if he uses a journal. If not, I suggest he do so in order to capture his insights.
There is no perfect once-size-fits-all journal or one right way to journal, so I encourage you to experiment. After trying several methods and books, here is how I now use a standard, ruled journal:
• At the beginning of each month, I use one page to write down my overarching goals for the next four weeks.
• On the facing page, I take about 30 minutes to reflect on and write my personal manifesto, which articulates my purpose and motivations, updating it from previous versions as I feel necessary.

• On the next spread, I lay out my plan for the week. On the top half of the two pages, I create a calendar where I can note appointments, travel plans, and other time-specific events. On the bottom, I make a task list with modified Bullet Journal symbols. Carryover items from the previous week are followed by a number that indicates how many weeks each has been on the list. A number bigger than two prompts an examination of why I’m not getting something done — and whether it’s really worth doing.

• The last four lines of the right-hand page are reserved for gratitude. I try to capture three to four things for which I am grateful each week.
• Subsequent pages are used for meeting and project notes along with various thoughts and ideas. At least 10 minutes each day are reserved for reflection, and these pages are the ideal space.
• At the beginning of a new week and month, I start the process again using the next available spread.
This approach keeps everything in one place and fosters feedback loops that integrate “being” (who you are and what you value as a human being) and “doing” (your meetings, projects, daily activities, and making connections between your larger purpose and specific goals).
While digital is dizzying and often encourages us to speed up, analog is reassuringly grounding and provides space for reflection and contemplation. Annie McKee, author of How to Be Happy at Work, told me, “Overwork and stress are epidemic. That means we’re not at our best emotionally, physically, or mentally. The antidote is to focus on activities that help us slow down, calm down, and reflect. Doing that, and staying away from the to-do tasks, centers you on the future, hope, and relationships. It triggers changes in the brain that help us deal with the stress.”
Leaders are wise to note what a little quiet time alone with a notebook and pen can yield.
Eric J. McNulty
https://www.strategy-business.com/blog/Journaling-Can-Boost-Your-Leadership-Skills?gko=e748f&utm_source=itw&utm_medium=20180517&utm_campaign=resp

HR SPECIAL.... Question for your HR chief: Are we using our ‘people data’ to create value?


Question for your HR chief: Are we using our ‘people data’ to create value?

By analyzing the links between people practices and productivity, some companies are improving their bottom line.
Human-resources executives have aspired to be strategic advisers to business leaders for at least a generation. But it’s been a struggle for many because it’s so difficult to measure the business value of HR approaches. Questions such as “What is the ROI1of training?” and “Which screening techniques yield the best performing recruits?” or “What target-setting approach will best motivate performance?” have been met with imprecise answers.
Today, however, new tools and methods for analyzing data enable HR to define the link between “people practices” and performance more effectively. This couldn’t have happened at a better time, since CEOs are hunting for value anywhere they can find it. The upshot: if you and your head of HR haven’t recently discussed ideas for using data to generate a talent strategy that’s more closely linked to business results, it’s time to start.
Why now? For starters, the widespread adoption of enterprise resource planning and HR information systems has made data on business operations, performance, and personnel more accessible and standardized. Furthermore, the rise of HR information systems has generated a community of software and technology intermediaries that can help HR and business executives use data to find links between talent management and labor productivity. Finally, the consolidation and outsourcing of transactional HR work has compelled many leaders of the function to take a first step toward quantifying and reporting HR costs and performance.
These trends, coupled with the universal imperative to get more for less, have led some companies to discover new ways of using HR analytics to create value. The Bon-Ton chain of more than 280 department stores in the United States, for example, leveraged its data to identify attributes that made cosmetics sales reps successful. Now it screens potential reps using a test of cognitive ability, situational judgment, initiative taking, and other relevant traits. Those who score in the top half tend to sell 10 percent more product than the others and tend to like their work more. Since 2008, the chain has seen an increase of $1,400 in sales per representative and 25 percent lower turnover among them.
Other pioneers are emerging, particularly in industries where people are central to value creation (notably banking, health care, and retailing) and where scarce technical expertise governs growth (such as technology and upstream oil exploration). While the specific people-related practices that add value will differ by company—industry dynamics, talent scarcity, growth rates, and corporate cultures all influence the answers—the organizations that we’ve seen get the most value from investing in HR analytics all use some variation of these four steps.
1. Focus HR on business priorities
Most HR teams view, organize, and measure their activities through the traditional employee life cycle: starting with recruiting, hiring, and “on-boarding” and proceeding to evaluation, training, and development. For HR analytics efforts to work, however, the function’s leaders must view problems—and value creation opportunities—as business leaders do.
Executives at Pittsburgh-based PNC Financial Services, for example, suspected that their tendency to pick experienced outsiders over internal candidates in hiring decisions might be hurting the bank: once hired, the outsiders were too often viewed as lukewarm performers. So in 2009, PNC’s HR team partnered with colleagues from the company’s marketing-analytics group to analyze the sales performance, over several years, of external hires versus people promoted from inside. What the team found confirmed the suspicions: in a number of key job categories, internal candidates were significantly more productive in their first year than experienced external hires. In subsequent years, the outsiders narrowed—but never closed—the gap. Millions of dollars in value were at stake.
It’s unusual for business or HR leaders to spot pain points such as these on their own. Typically, a strong partnership is crucial for identifying and prioritizing issues that intertwine people challenges and business results. PNC’s team, for example, asked line executives what they saw as the highest-value opportunities for improving talent management. From these discussions, the analytics team distilled a top-20 list of business questions and hypotheses to test, such as “What is the business impact of training investment?” and “Is there an optimal distribution of performance ratings?” The PNC team then ranked the resulting list of issues by their expected business impact and the feasibility of conducting meaningful analysis. “This is where HR has the chance to prove itself,” says Jay Wilkinson, PNC’s new HR vice president of analytics. “Better than coming to [business leaders] with tired best practices, we’re asking them how they define success specific to their business, and that provides the context for our analysis and recommendations.”
Google is another company with an HR team that partners with business leaders seeking analytic insights. According to Prasad Setty, head of Google’s people analytics group, “We are looking to inform decision makers with data so they can be as objective and bias free as possible.” Setty’s team has, for example, provided business executives with a systematic approach to reassessing provisionally rejected candidates. The team’s analysis of profiles that lead to success at Google helps it identify potential false negatives and to revisit these candidates. This technique has helped the company “save” many hires it would otherwise have missed.
2. Start with what you have
Quantitative problem-solving skills may be hard to come by in the HR department. Therefore, senior executives who are eager to begin should push their HR leaders to draw in analytical resources wherever they exist. All that’s required is the ability to engage business leaders in efforts to identify issues and structure problems in a nuanced way and then to follow through with advanced data gathering and statistical analysis.
Retailers, for example, typically entrust analytics to store operations analysts who understand the high priority the business places on containing labor costs. PNC’s capability emerged from its marketing-analytics group. Other companies lean on finance or strategic planning. Most pull the necessary people into the HR function over time, as PNC did in the course of a year when it decided to build a specialized HR analytics department.
And remember: many analyses can be conducted using existing data and systems. Some work may be needed to match payroll data or training-attendance rosters with sales performance results, for example, but creative, persistent analysts can answer most business questions without new, sophisticated, or costly tools.
3. Go beyond traditional HR solutions
New insights often require additional problem solving to go from theory to practical solutions. HR analytics succeeds when human-resources and business leaders work together to address the root causes of problems and to pilot new ways of solving them.
Google, for example, did a study to examine whether good managers matter—and, if so, how—within Google’s specific culture. Setty explains that “through various methods, we found positive relationships between good management and retention and the performance of teams. We then conducted double-blind interviews to identify the key behaviors exhibited by our best managers. We found eight behaviors that make a good manager and five pitfalls to avoid. These are now incorporated into our manager-training programs and coaching sessions, and teams provide feedback to managers on these behaviors to help them understand where they’re doing well and where they can get better. The vast majority of our lower-rated managers have improved as a result.”
4. Make it stick
Once a company has a few successes with HR analytics, it can build a lasting source of value creation by integrating analytics practitioners into its day-to-day business and HR rhythms. Several companies, for example, have established a routine of having HR or other “people strategy” staff join business reviews to identify priorities for analysis. This practice helps senior line executives conduct problem-solving discussions around HR-related issues and to plan for action as findings emerge.
HR analytics practitioners must also commit themselves to the habit of measuring and reporting on success. At financial-services giant ING, for example, business units and HR share a comprehensive dashboard, supplemented by regular reports, to show progress on key metrics. Similarly, a global oil giant’s people-strategy group reports progress at four stages of a project’s development: data gathering, analysis, developing solutions, and piloting. This approach helps HR and business leaders understand that progress is happening even when stages may take weeks or months to complete. It also provides a clearer understanding, in both directions, of changing priorities and emerging findings from the work.

Advances in technology are creating opportunities for senior business and HR leaders to start a new kind of dialogue about the link between people and performance. That dialogue will help HR executives demonstrate the impact of their work and achieve their goal of strategic partnership with other members of the senior-management team—and, of course, it will create value for the enterprise.
By Nora Gardner, Devin McGranahan, and William Wolf
https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/question-for-your-hr-chief-are-we-using-our-people-data-to-create-value?cid=other-eml-nsl-mip-mck-oth-1805&hlkid=8ef3ca9687994301842c4bb8b6d06041&hctky=1627601&hdpid=d2485d50-8367-4043-9d84-a0e9fcfdab81

DIGITAL SPECIAL ......10 Principles for Leading the Next Industrial Revolution PART I


10 Principles for Leading the Next Industrial Revolution PART I

Tools and techniques to ensure your company will stand out in the new age of digitization. See also “A Guide to Leading the Next Industrial Revolution.”

It isn’t often that the broad infrastructure that underlies industrial civilization undergoes a dramatic transformation. But just such a change appears to be happening now. In a great wave of technological change, sensors are spreading through factories and warehouses, software is predicting the need for maintenance before a machine breaks down, power grids and loading docks are becoming intelligent, and custom-designed parts are being produced on demand. The leaders of the next industrial revolution are companies making advances in fields such as robotics, machine learning, digital fabrication (including 3D printing), the Industrial Internet, the Internet of Things (IoT), data analytics and blockchain (a system of decentralized, automated transaction verification). Because these technologies all reinforce the others’ impact, they are leading to a new level of proficiency, and to new types of opportunities and challenges for business and for society at large.
One key indicator is that conventional boundaries between industries are eroding. It’s getting harder to tell the difference between, say, a telecommunications company and an entertainment producer, or between a retail bank and a retail store. The relationships among suppliers, producers, and consumers are also blurring, more rapidly than many business decision makers are prepared for.
The foundation of business strategy has long been the classic value chain, which links together raw materials producers, manufacturers, distributors, and (in the end) consumers through a well-established commercial infrastructure characterized by a stable set of transactions. But the rise of digital technology enables individuals to connect outside the value chain and deliver more efficient, effective products and services. This will reduce the importance of economies of scale and conventional divisions of labor. Relationships among companies will be more fluid and the price and cost of goods and services more volatile than they are today. There is one certainty, however: Trustworthiness and a clear articulation of purpose, will become more important to business. An enterprise that is continually changing must balance that turbulence with purpose and trust, or people — including employees, suppliers, customers, and regulators — will not be able to make the full commitments that businesses need.
Our research at PwC suggests that the Industrial Internet presents unprecedented potential gains for companies that claim leadership roles. Their ability to realize these gains will depend, in part, on their actions during these early years: the capabilities they build and the extent to which they reframe their business and operating models to make the most of this new technological infrastructure.
How, then, can you lead your company, whether it is large or small, to play a pivotal role in the next industrial revolution? How can you take advantage of your existing strengths while developing the digital prowess and personal skill that you need? How do you balance the technological acumen you require with the managerial skill to become a true market leader in this field? How can you help the broader society meet the challenges posed by this technology — issues related to privacy, employment, income equality, and general well-being, among others — while still ensuring success for your enterprise? The following 10 principles can help senior executives navigate the uncertainties of the next few years in a systematic and profitable way.
Establishing Your Strategy
1.         Rethink your business model. 
2.         The business world has become accustomed to disruption. In industry after industry, incumbents that cling to old business models lose ground to upstarts that introduce new products and services at much lower prices. The next industrial revolution will accelerate this sequence, especially in manufacturing, by reducing costs and improving efficiency at a broad scale. Companies that are slow to change will lose to those that rethink their business models to take advantage of the new platforms and their new opportunities.
Consider, for example, the electric power utility industry, which has essentially maintained the same business model since it began in 1882: metered power generation, selling electrons to residential and commercial customers. Now power utilities find themselves at the nexus of an evolving technological ecosystem that allows them to offer a variety of new options — and just in time, because the revenues from selling electrons are rapidly shrinking. The new offerings include renewable energy from solar and wind sources; sensor-based energy monitoring systems that use data analytics to continuously improve efficiency; and heating, cooling, and facilities management services. Some power utility companies are recasting their offerings as “gateway hubs” for Internet access and home security. The utilities have the potential to capture several new sources of value, but they will also face unprecedented competition from technology and telecommunications companies.
Automakers, too, are anticipating a dramatic new business model; a few years from now, they may no longer rely solely on individual car sales. They will provide mobility on demand, through their stakes in shared or self-driving vehicles. Manufacturers of tools, hardware, instruments, and heavy equipment are adding sensors and connectivity to their products, enabling predictive maintenance, security, and frequent upgrades. The healthcare industry is moving toward its own adaptation of the IoT, with wearable sensors providing data that health professionals can use for early diagnosis and better follow-up services. Financial services, engineering and construction, and entertainment and media are all poised for similar changes.
If you are falling into the trap of thinking that your company can make money indefinitely by following its traditional business model, you risk losing out to more flexible competitors. You are not in the same industry that you were in before; soon, that industry may not even exist. Your path to profitability is different. Your opportunities for raising capital have changed. Your capabilities may not apply to the same customers they did before. Your circumstances are probably different from those of any other company, so you need to look freshly at them, without relying on an industry playbook, and rethink your business model accordingly.
To fund new investments in R&D, operations, and customer experience, you may have to cut back legacy activities that no longer apply. This will take perseverance and discipline, but your competitive advantage lies with your role in the infrastructure of the future. Selling or shutting down less essential practices, and focusing your portfolio of products and services more effectively, can make you fit for growth in this new world.
2.  Build your strategy around platforms. 
What the value chain was to the old industrial system, the platform is to the new. A platform is a combination of interoperable standards and systems. It creates a plug-and-play technological base on which a wide range of vendors and customers can interact seamlessly with the same collection of hardware, software, services, and one another. The most successful platforms match customers with vendors, maintain an appealing and effective customer experience, and collect data and rents from people who use the system. A business that controls a popular platform — Microsoft with Windows, Apple with its mobile iOS, Amazon with its “everything store” merchandising system, Facebook with social media, and Google with its search engine — can influence the direction of evolution for a business-to-consumer market. The same will be true of the new industrial operating systems for business-to-business markets. The users of a platform become, in effect, an ecosystem: a group of companies exchanging goods and services, their fates bound together.

These are still the early days of platform building on the Industrial Internet. Companies such as GE and Siemens are staking their claims now. GE has announced its goal to be “the world’s first digital industrial company”; its cloud-based Predix platform combines data analytics, connectivity, cyber-protection, and offerings such as the Digital Twin, a simulation of industrial processes based on digital profiles of more than half a million machines. Siemens is developing its equally ambitious MindSphere platform in collaboration with Microsoft, offering its apps on the Azure cloud starting in 2017.
Other industrial platforms are more narrow, but equally profitable. For example, the Trumpf company, based in Germany, has established a platform called Axoom, which provides laser equipment, welding, and metalworking equipment for the many small companies that build components from metal and plastic, giving them all access to specialized 3D printing tools and software. There will be platforms for specific types of supply chains, and platforms for hospitals, banks, and other types of organizations. As automobiles evolve into autonomous vehicles, they will be designed as platforms, operating within “smart city” platforms that continue to improve the ways in which autonomous vehicles navigate.
Your first step in establishing yourself as a participant in the Industrial Internet is to figure out what role you can realistically play in this platform-based world. Will you be a platform “enabler” like Trumpf, GE, and Siemens, a company responsible for building (and owning) the underlying megahubs? Will you be an “engager” of customers, using the platform as a vehicle for providing products and services? Will you be a platform “enhancer,” a developer of new technologies on the platform, selling them primarily to enablers and engagers? Or will you develop a business that combines two or three of these roles?
If you become an enabler, building out your own platform, three elements will help you stay ahead of competitors. First, digitize your own enterprise — the platforms at GE and Siemens began as in-house services for their own operations. Second, continually work on gaining efficiencies, improving the technologies that you already have. Third, build cost reduction into that continuous improvement; use sensors and analytics, for example, to raise the quality and performance of your products and thus lower costs. These abilities take time and acumen to develop, and they will become core distinctive elements of your platform.
3.  Design for customers. 
Because the next industrial revolution is driven by large-scale digital technology, it’s easy to overlook the way it could affect human relationships. The new infrastructure is a web of connections among people: Producers and consumers, in particular, are much more closely connected than they used to be. Through smartphones and social media, consumers can connect directly to primary producers of the products and services they buy. Through sensors and data analytics, producers can be thoroughly attuned to the needs, habits, and long-term interests of the people who buy products and services. As a designer of the new platforms, or a business leader participating in them, you have an unprecedented opportunity to build a customer-centric enterprise, one that connects with what people genuinely want and need from your company, thus generating commitment that will last a lifetime.
For many large businesses, this represents a dramatic change. Apparel companies, for example, are building new connections between the retail store and the factory, so that retail customers’ preferences rapidly translate into new clothing designs. A few farsighted companies, such as Inditex (Zara) and H&M, have pioneered this approach in their own operations. Now, the platforms of the Industrial Internet make it much easier for any apparel manufacturer to follow suit. Banks, power utilities, and telecommunications providers are making similar transitions: They are cleaning up their user interfaces, offering new types of services, and solving customer problems in faster, friendlier, more responsive, and more effective ways.
When you design for customer-centricity, you translate your desired relationship and mutual commitment into the look and feel of your enterprise. A true omnichannel customer experience connects every touch point: all face-to-face contact, every retail environment, all online activity, anything connected through a smartphone, and all the other myriad connections between you and your customer. In the new infrastructure of your business, there are far more touch points to work with. Customers live in an interactive world. Their behavior is aggregated into data you can consult to make business decisions. Your behavior, in turn, is more evident and transparent to them than it has ever been before.
For example, consider a simple shopping transaction. A customer places an order online for a shirt, trying it on in a virtual showroom, and then picks it up in a local store. Can he or she move seamlessly from the smartphone to the pickup point? Is it obvious how to try it on and pay for it without waiting in line? Is it easy to pay? Does the store, abetted by analytics, show the customer other items that would look good with that shirt?
You will need new levels of design acumen to succeed. People will interact with your company through online automated systems, and perhaps through robots in the physical world. Are these machines appealing or frustrating? Do they draw upon knowledge of ergonomics and human sensitivity? (Does it mimic the sequence and pacing of human interaction?) Equally important, are your systems adaptable? The more easily professionals and customers can change and customize their systems — without having to be an IT professional — the more effective they will be.
CONTINUES TOMORROW

TV SPECIAL ......Your 80-inch window to the World Cup


Your 80-inch window to the World Cup

The new laser TV aims to dominate the competition with a large screen, 400 nits of brightness and an affordable price

Chinese multinational
Hisense has big plans for the World Cup this year — like, 80-inches big. To this end, the company is launching a new Hisense L5 Laser TV that will serve as an affordable sibling to the L8D, a laser TV that Hisense announced at CES this year.
Like the L8D, the L5 isn’t exactly a TV per se — it’s more of a short-throw projector with a lot of the modern conveniences of a TV — like smart functionality.

Key features
Hisense sells a projector screen with every one of its laser TVs to give it additional clarity and ease of use for people who might be used to traditional LEDLCD or OLED sets.
Priced at around $3,140, the L5’s main selling points are its price and its improved brightness of 400 nits. Now, 400 nits might not sound like a lot, but according to Hisense and some simple calculations (every nit of a projector’s brightness is equal to around 3 nits of a traditional TV’s brightness), the L5 should be capable of displaying clear images even in brightly lit rooms.

Projector vs TV
There’s no word yet if the L5 will be capable of HDR or if it will offer 4K. While there has always been contention between projectors and TVs in the heart of every AV enthusiast, the pull between the two has become even more intense during the past few years as more TV makers move into the short-throw projector space.
So why choose a short-throw projector over a TV or vice versa? TVs need less maintenance, as bulbs in projectors need to be replaced every few years and can be costly. On the other hand, short-throw projectors are usually designed in a way that they can be hidden or stored, allowing style-savvy entertainment enthusiasts the liberty to hide their equipment.

techradar.com


PERSONAL SPECIAL ...How to Stay Positive When Everyone Around You Is Negative

How to Stay Positive When Everyone Around You Is Negative
SHARE    
It's so easy to end up in a bad mood when someone close to you is feeling down. Being there for our friends, family, and partners when they're going through a hard time is really important, especially if they're experiencing something genuinely traumatic, like the loss of a loved one. On the other hand, we all have at least one friend who throws a helluva pity-party when they're just not feeling good about themselves or the world around them.
When our friends are down—whatever the situation is—it's also critical that we take care of ourselves. It can be hard to take an emotional step back when people close to you are going through a funk, but once you're sucked into that black hole of negativity, it can be even harder to fight your way out.
Emotions Really Are Contagious
Ever wonder why someone else's moods can affect you so much? A 2017 study found that teens who surrounded themselves with negative friends also found their moods to worsen over time, a process known as social contagion.
"Scientifically, we talk about the mirror neurons in the brain that are purposely created so we can be empathically able to experience what someone else is feeling," says Kate Dow, Ph.D., a psychologist and certified wellness coach for women. "The challenge is if you are a very sensitive person, that empathy becomes an open door to taking on other people's feelings and not being able to have a sense of self to hold onto."
"It's the way we're wired," says Jonathan Alpert, psychotherapist and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. "We try to connect to people, and we do that first by picking up on how they feel and then bringing a level of understanding and support."
So when your Facebook friend from high school decides to post for the tenth time today about how much her life sucks, or when your coworker is counteracting everything you say with a negative remark, here are some tips from life experts to keep your sanity intact.
1. Acknowledge your funk.
If you've fallen into negative thinking because of your friend, the first step toward a positive mindset is consciously accepting that you're currently in a state of negativity. "Knowing that you've fallen into it is a huge advantage," Dow says.
2. Give yourself a pep talk.
If you know you're going to see someone who's in a bad place emotionally, prepare yourself before you interact with them. Dow suggests giving yourself a pep talk before going in—one that acknowledges the fact that you're going to face this person, that they will be upset, and end with an affirmation stating that you will choose not to take on their emotions. This way, you can have more perspective on your friend's situation and you'll give yourself more of a choice about whether or not to be upset, Dow says.
Try pushing the negative self-doubt away by giving yourself a compliment.
3. Get your friend out of their head.
If you're stuck hearing about your friend's frustration over their boss and how everything is going wrong for them, your initial reaction may be to nod in agreement. But Alpert suggests a different route: Allow your friend to vent for a few minutes, then redirect.
"If someone is complaining all the time and you're agreeing with them, you're reinforcing that behavior, and that may not be so healthy," says Alpert. Offer an alternative way to look at solutions, such as discussing what's going well in their life or a shared interest.
Of course, this advice is only good for smaller irritations—if your friend is going through something life-altering, it's good to let them talk about their feelings as much as they may need to.
4. Set boundaries.
"We only have so much we can give to people," Alpert says. "Make sure you're taking care of yourself and your needs are met." When we get wrapped up in friends' and loved ones' drama, we can forget about ourselves. But when you're at your wit's end with your pal, setting time apart could be what heals your friendship. Focus on other activities you love or spend time with other people in your life. "Not hanging out with them isn't about being mean or judgmental," Dow says. "It's self-care, and ultimately, it's each of our responsibilities to ourselves."
5. Step away from technology.
Being connected at all times has its downsides, and if you're dealing with your BFF's issues at 11 p.m., you're setting yourself up for problems. Try turning off your phone, removing social media apps, or even deactivating accounts until you're feeling better. "If you don't take a break, your brain and body are experiencing high-stress stakes constantly, and chronic stress can lead to getting sick," Dow says.
6. Show gratitude.
A gateway to a positive mind starts by appreciating what you have. In fact, a studyperformed at the University of Miami found a link between gratitude and happiness. Two groups wrote something every day about their lives: One group focused on things they were grateful for; the other, their irritations. The participants who wrote about gratitude felt happier and better about themselves after ten weeks than the group who focused on griping. And like negativity, gratitude spreads: Another study found that couples who expressed gratitude for one another had more loving, trustworthy relationships.
7. Practice being kind to yourself.
We're our worst critics, and once we're in a bad mood, we can't help but continue to beat ourselves down. Try pushing the negative self-doubt away by giving yourself a compliment. "Positive focus helps support our positive mindset," Dow says. She suggests setting an intention every day promoting a healthier, kinder attitude.
8. Reframe your thoughts.
If you catch yourself using a lot of negative phrases and bringing yourself down, try looking at the bigger picture. "Repeating negative narratives is really going to put someone in a funk," Alpert says. So be kind to yourself—and change the narrative.
9. Consider whether this is someone you want in your life.
No one likes to break up with a friend, but if someone is bringing a lot of negativity into your life—or if you suspect they may be toxic—you should reevaluate whether or not you want to spend time with them. It's an extreme case, but at times, it's necessary. Figure out how much this friend means to you and how important it is to maintain that friendship, Dow says.

BY BIANCA MENDEZ
https://greatist.com/live/how-to-stay-positive-around-negative-people?utm_source=CM&utm_medium=email&utm_content=story1_title&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter_2018-05-10_testB_20160817