A Hard Time
Sometimes
in life things don’t work out the way you want them to.
Things fall apart, unforeseen
events occur and sometimes it just feels like too much to take.
Life is cyclical in nature
and it’s important to understand that whilst the bad times may feel never
ending, eventually the good times will roll into place. The key is to reach a
place of understanding with whatever situation you are facing, knowing that
this too shall pass. Far easier said than done, but in maintaining a sense of
perspective (and a sense of humor) this can be the very thing that can pull us
through one of life’s tough spots.
When things fall apart and
you can’t seem to figure out a pathway through the situation, it’s important to
remember that there is always a choice. You can choose to let it destroy you,
define you or you can choose to let it strengthen you. Knowing we have a choice
in how we react can provide a sense of empowerment, a knowledge that life
struggles can provide a deeper understanding of life. It’s also of vital
importance to remember a few powerful, yet easily forgotten, truths that might
just help you to break on through to the other side of whatever sticky
situation life throws at you.
1.
Acceptance
This can be one of the
toughest lessons to master when faced with adversity. We spend so much time and
energy resisting what is, dancing with denial, that we ignore the very first
step in overcoming any situation. Acceptance.
Whatever difficult situation
you find yourself wading into, it’s of paramount importance to accept that it
is actually happening. This is no easy feat since the power of pretending it
isn’t happening is utterly alluring. This is also called sticking your head in
the sand- it simply doesn’t achieve anything. Whilst it can feel incredibly
tempting at the time, it’s essential to understand that denial simply keeps us
stuck. For if we don’t accept what is happening right in front of us, how can
we find the means to move on and heal from it?
2. Maintain
Perspective
When we feel like life’s punching bag it can be incredibly easy
to fall victim to the situation. If we are feeling angry, hurt or grieving a
loss we want to find something to blame, and demand an answer to the age old
question: why is this happening to me? It is much harder to take a step back
from the situation and acknowledge that whilst it is indeed happening, it’s not
happening to you. As tough as it sounds, taking it personally
just leads into a cul-de-sac of blame and resentment and if you want to start
healing from a tough time its time to stop circling the cul-de-sac and get back
on the open road. This is where a change of perspective is needed, a
willingness to see the situation differently.
If you’ve recently lost a job or are going through a difficult
break-up, for example, whilst it might feel utterly devastating at the time,
know that you will eventually dust yourself off, get through it and actually
learn something about yourself. Just as hard times can sweep in and knock you
off your feet, so can the good times. A willingness to try and see a situation
differently opens yourself up to the possibility of a fresh perspective and a
motivation to move on with your life.
3. Learn The
Lesson
Life is a training ground and we are actually here to learn,
grow and evolve as human beings. Unfortunately most of us tend to learn the
most from adverse experiences rather than the positive ones. Some of the
toughest situations I’ve personally been through have taught me the most about
myself and as a result I feel transformed and even thankful for the experience
(though if you told me that at the time I never would have believed you).
Whatever the problem is, no matter how big or small, try to
identify what lesson it is trying to teach you. It may take some digging but
the lesson will be there, patiently waiting for you to uncover it. For example,
if your relationship came to an abrupt halt and threw you out unwittingly onto
Single Street you might discover that the relationship was acting as a training
ground, a place for you to uncover and ultimately heal an unhealthy
relationship tendency, so that when the next relationship appears you are ready
for it. In being a student of life we learn that all experiences are necessary,
that the story of what happened doesn’t really matter in the end, it’s what we
learn from it that counts.
4. Stay
Positive
When faced with adversity it can be incredibly tempting to throw
a pity party for one and close down from friends and family. Whilst isolation
may feel like the right response during a tough time, it can be a slippery
slope down into the depths of depression or developing a belief that you are
being a burden. We all need people in our lives, especially when the going gets
tough, and our loved ones can act as a veritable life raft, pulling us out from
the depths and lifting our spirits. In times of strife it’s also of paramount
importance to surround yourself with friends or family who are positive minded,
those who will be there to listen to you but also to reassure you that you can get
through it. Whilst it can be comforting to have your loved ones give you the
space initially to rant about how terribly unfair the whole thing is, it’s also
important that they help you focus on finding a solution or simply a focus on
the future rather than the past. Spending these difficult times with
positive-minded people can remind us that we all need someone to lean on, or at
least someone to have a laugh with, as we work our way through the mire.
5. Don’t Give
Up
At times like these it’s of paramount importance to understand
that nothing lasts forever. Some of the curveballs that life throws at us might
seem insurmountable but there is always a way through and we are never given
more that we can handle. At the time we might not think we have the requisite
tools to navigate a tricky situation, yet the fact that we invariably come
through the other side can actually be a source of empowerment. Being pushed
beyond the boundaries of what we believe we can handle is never fun, yet in
viewing whatever situation life throws at us as a potential life lesson,
ultimately we can learn from it.
As a result we become stronger so that the next time life deals
us a difficult hand we don’t get thrown off course as easily and we don’t give
up as easily. Making a commitment to stay strong in the face of adversity can
foster us with a sense of resolve. We might not like what we are having to deal
with but we can eventually get to a place where we emerge stronger, wiser and
hopefully with a few life lessons tucked in our back pocket.
VICTORIA COX
http://www.lifehack.org/324771/5-things-you-should-keep-mind-when-you-are-overcoming-hard-time?ref=mail&mtype=goal_reminder&mid=20161101_with_thumbnail&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=read_more&goal_id=9&token=d0e3e4b03809d240b52d71f8a6770fa9
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