How to Be Exceptionally
Persuasive: 9 Ways to Tap Your Inner Steve Jobs
Great leaders
persuade others to rally behind them--and you can too.
One thing
remarkably successful people have in common is the ability to persuade and convince other people.
I know, I
know. The word persuasion conjures
up images of manipulating, pressuring, cajoling, all the used-car salesman
stereotypes.
But if you
think of persuasion as effectively describing the benefits and logic of an idea
to gain agreement, then everyone needs to be able to persuade--to convince others a proposal makes
sense, to show stakeholders how a project or business will generate a return,
to help employees understand the benefits of a new process, etc.
That's why the ability to persuade is
critical in any business or career--and why successful people are extremely good
at persuading others.
Here are some of the traits of exceptionally
persuasive people:
1. They don't hesitate to take
a bold stand.
You would assume data and reasoning always
win the day, right?
Nope. Research
shows humans
prefer cockiness to expertise. We naturally
assume confidence equates with skill. Even the most skeptical will at least be
partly convinced by a confident speaker.
In fact, we prefer advice from a confident
source even to the point that we will forgive a poor track record.
So be bold. Stop saying "I
think" or "I believe." Stop adding qualifiers to your speech. If
you think something will work, say it will work. If you believe something will
work, say it will work.
Stand behind your opinions--even if they are
just opinions--and let your enthusiasm show. You'll naturally win people over.
2. They modify how quickly they
speak.
There's reason behind the fast-talking
salesman stereotype: In certain situations, talking fast works.
Other times, not so much.
Here's
what one
study indicates:
·
If your audience is likely to disagree,
speak faster.
·
If your audience is likely to agree,
speak slower.
Why?
·
When your audience is inclined to disagree with
you, speaking faster gives them less time to form their own counterarguments
and you have a better chance of convincing them.
·
When your audience is inclined to agree with
you, speaking slowly gives them time to evaluate your arguments and factor in a
few of their own thoughts. The combination of your reasoning plus their initial
bias means they are more likely to, at least in part, convince themselves.
In short: If you're preaching to the choir,
speak slowly; if not, speak quickly.
And if your audience is neutral or apathetic,
speak quickly so you'll be less likely to lose their attention.
3. They start by looking for
small wins.
Research
shows--yep, more research--that gaining agreement
has an enduring effect, even if only over the short term. So instead of jumping
right to the end of your argument, start with statements or premises you know
your audience will agree with. Build a foundation for further agreement.
Remember, a body in motion tends to remain in
motion, and that also applies to a head nodding in agreement.
4. They aren't afraid to
(occasionally) swear.
Of course,
swearing for no reason is just swearing. But say your team needs to pull
together ... right freaking now. Tossing in an occasional--and heartfelt--curse word can actually help
instill a sense of urgency, because it shows you care. (And, of course, it never hurts when a
leader lets a little frustration or
anger show, too.)
In short, be
yourself. Authenticity is always more persuasive. And if you feel strongly
enough to slip in a mild curse word, feel free. Research
shows you're likely to be a little more
persuasive.
5. They adapt to how their
audience likes to process information.
A fellow supervisor used to frustrate the
crap out of me. (See? That swearing thing works.) I was young and enthusiastic
and would burst into his office with an awesome idea, lay out all my facts and
figures, wait breathlessly for him to agree with me ... and he would disagree.
Every.
Freaking. Time.
After a number
of failed attempts, I finally realized he wasn't the problem. Myapproach was the problem. He needed time to
think. He needed time to process. By demanding an immediate answer, I put him
on the defensive. In the absence of time to reflect, he would fall back on the
safe choice: sticking to the status quo.
So I tried a different approach.
"Don," I said, "I have an idea that I think makes sense, but I
feel sure there are things I'm missing. If I run it by you, could you think
about it for a day or two and then tell me what you think?"
He loved that approach. One, it showed I valued
his wisdom and experience. Two, it showed I didn't just want him to agree--I
genuinely wanted his opinion. And most important, it gave him time to process
my idea the way he felt
most comfortable.
Always know your audience. Don't push for
instant agreement if someone's personality style makes that unlikely. But don't
ask for thought and reflection if your audience loves to make quick decisions
and move on.
6. They don't just share
positives, they share negatives, too.
According to University of Illinois professor
Daniel O'Keefe, sharing an opposing viewpoint or two is more persuasive than
sticking solely to your argument.
Why? Very few ideas or proposals are perfect.
Your audience members know that; they know there are other perspectives and
potential outcomes. So meet them head-on. Talk about the things they're already
considering. Discuss potential negatives and show how you will mitigate or
overcome those problems.
The people in your audience are more likely
to be persuaded when they know you understand they could have misgivings. So
talk about the other side of the argument--and then do your best to show why
you're still right.
7. They consistently draw
positive conclusions.
Which of the following statements is more
persuasive?
·
"Stop making so many
mistakes."
·
"Be much more accurate."
Or of these two?
·
"Stop feeling so lethargic."
·
"Feel a lot more energetic."
While it's
tempting to use scare tactics, positive outcome statements tend to be more
persuasive. (The researchers
hypothesized that most people respond negatively to
feeling bullied or guilted into changing a behavior.)
So if you're trying to produce change, focus
on the positives of that change. Take your audience to a better place instead
of telling your audience what to avoid.
8. They choose the right way to communicate.
Say you're a man hoping to persuade a man you
don't know well, or even at all. What should you do?
If you have a choice, don't speak in person.
Write an email first.
As a general rule, men tend to feel
competitive in person and turn what should be a conversation into a contest we
think we need to win. (Be honest; you know you do it sometimes.)
The opposite
is true if you're a woman hoping to persuade other women. According
to the researchers, women are "more focused on
relationships," so in-person communication tends to be more effective.
But if you're a guy trying to persuade
another guy you know well, definitely communicate in person. The closer your
relationship, the more effective face-to-face communication tends to be.
9. And, most important, they
make sure they're right.
Remarkably persuasive people understand how
to frame and deliver their messages, but most important, they embrace the fact
that the message is what matters.
Be clear, be concise, be to the point, and
win the day because your data, reasoning, and conclusions are beyond reproach.
And always use your persuasion skills for
good, not evil. Your ability to convince should just be the icing on an
undeniably logical cake.
BY JEFF HADEN
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/want-to-be-uncommonly-persuasive-9-ways-to-find-your-inner-nelson-mandela.html?cid=em01016week51a
No comments:
Post a Comment